To say that I was a bit surprised by the contents of the latest FTB edition, The Whales Tale, is an understatement. Shell shocked, dumbfounded, oh my goodness gracious. Well, I call it grand standing.  After some of the finest literature ever to grace the pages of FTB, penned by Itchie, Ubelly, etc., it is clear to me what Shamu was up to.  Finding no possible way to upstage the more gifted penmen in our illustrious HSL, Shamu pulled the God trump card.  The pressure was simply too much.  I know the feeling Chuck.

     I am sure that each of you has had the pleasure at holiday time to watch The Christmas Story, one of the finest movies ever made (how it did not sweep the Oscars, I will never know).  One of the scenes had the recess crowd gathered around a flagpole debating whether a tongue would stick to a below freezing flag pole.  Well the boys proceeded through a “dare,” a “dog dare,” a “double dare,” a “double dog dare,” and then a “triple dog dare,” and the narrator pipes in that there has been a slight breech of etiquette in skipping over the triple dare to the triple dog dare.  Well that is how I feel.  I have been cheated of my chance to raise the bar as Shamu (by the way, I believe a new nickname may be in order, Friar Chuck has a good ring to it) has skipped over so many levels to the highest possible level, so that all that is left for me is to stick my tongue to the flagpole.  Yuck!!!

     You know you have done something special when you fluster Itchie. In response to The Whales Tale, he fired off a couple of curt e-mails, including one reference to tittie bars; obviously testing the waters. J.T., the waters they are deep, and you are short of line. James 1:1. (This may not be exactly as appears in your King James Version)

     However, Bob showed his true resolve in his posting. Don’t tell the liberal S.O.B. this, put he has the best wit I have ever read. The world will have missed out on a true talent if Bob does not write a book or two before the baseball God’s take him away. Oh how I digress, but what else have I got to do.

     Is this a baseball website? What am I supposed to write about? Does anyone want to hear about my turkey hunting exploits in Northwest Missouri? How about my recent trip home for my nephew Hunter’s baptism, or my niece Anna’s first communion two weeks ago? Perhaps my 9 year old son’s 2-6 baseball team? Hmmmmmmm, I just do not know anymore.

     How about a top ten list, what the heck, here goes:
 

6.  Itchie losing 50 hands of blackjack in a row, I think 49 is the max. which he established two years ago.

5.  Skipper ever giving up editorial review of FTB in the future.

4.  Seeing Denny anywhere without Bob.

3.  Big Guy being stumped in a baseball trivia contest.

2.  Mitch at his “coming out” party.

1.  Bible quotations by Shamu in The Whales Tale.

 

     I have it on good and reliable information that the Skipjacks may have trouble on the horizon.  After several years of living off food stamps and other government subsidies, unreported blackjack income and the $700 annual managing stipend for managing the Skipjacks, Itchie has accepted “employment” with an unnamed offshore company.  Although certain legalities preclude naming the employer, I believe that given world events and the potential that Itchie has for passing off as a national of at least 65 countries, the initials may be CIA.  Congratulations!!!!!

     Hope everyone is well and good in HSL land, good luck to you all (with the exception of Ernie and Scott, I have a financial stake in this), and until next time, God Bless.

                               Tirebiter