2003 Season

                                           

 

 

 

 

Official Publication of

The Irate Pirates

Special Edition of

From the Bullpen

Guest Editor:  SloPay

2003 Season

Edition No. 14

June 3, 2003

 

Slow Writer,

 

     Well, this is like every test or report I have ever done in high school or those two classes I had at the Community College:  Last minute.  Like I told Bob two weeks ago:  I gots nothing!

 

     Just a couple things.  One note, Mr. Red Chirpee, I have been seen around without Bob at my side, I have three kids playing soccer and not once have I seen UBob there.

 

     Speaking of the hair challenged one, I'm sick of his references to my growing old not so gracefully.  Remember, you are five days older than me, you old fart.

 

    I'm a little dizzy up here in the 7th place position but not as much as I was two weeks ago when I held the 3rd place spot and had already purchased those wife-beater T shirts at the Kmart going out of business sale.  I had a picture in mind of a Pirate doin' his cabin boy over the guardrail with a face like George W. Bush!  Sorry about that, Chirpee and Friar Chuck, just in case your rebornness doesn't allow homosexuals in your religion.  Just out of curiosity, Chuck, did you find the Lord after that Devil Johnny threw your Milwaukee Cushion out onto the field and another one came out of the sky and landed at your feet?  I was saying my prayers that night when Blongo was driving 90 miles an hour back to our hotel room and Big Guy looked like a bobble-head doll in the seat in front of me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     In conclusion, my job is to print words, not to write them, and I'm tired of hunting and pecking.  Please, Linda, if you will straighten this mess out for me, you know, like you do for that sorry ass Dave every day.  If I have not offended everyone, I'll get it done next time.

 

                                  Yours truly,

 

                                      The Irate Pirate

 

P.S.  One baseball story.  Back when Tommy LaSorda was the third base coach for the Dodgers, they were playing the Reds on TV.  Pete Rose was playing third base for the Reds and Lasorda yelled at Pete that the Dodgers had taken a vote and said Pete was the second-best looking buy on the team.  Mr. Intensity tried to ignore him.  Finally acknowledged Tommy and he replied, "The rest of the team tied for first."  Well, that's it.  I'm off like a dirty shirt.

 

 

POINT TOTALS FOR WEEK 9

 

1.

Senators

448.0

2.

Tigers 374.5

3.

Skipjacks 360.0

4.

Chiefs 357.5

5.

Cubs* 350.0

6.

Red Birds 342.0

7.

Wahoos 340.5

8.

Blues 329.0

9.

Tribe 323.0

10.

Irates 297.5

11.

Bombers 272.0

12.

Reds 194.0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WEEK 9 STANDINGS

THROUGH June 1, 2003

 

1.

Skipjacks

3410.0

2.

Senators 3281.5

3.

Blues

3164.0

4.

Red Birds 3162.5

5.

Cubs* 3148.0

6.

Reds 3089.0

7.

Irates 3062.0

8.

Wahoos

3045.5

9.

Chiefs 2979.0

10.

Bombers 2931.5

11.

Tigers

2892.0

12.

Tribe

2725.0

 

 

PLAYER RANKINGS

 

 

Pos.

Player

Pts.

PPG

12

C

Posado

244

5.0

    Javy Lopez 206

5.2

   

Santiago

192

4.6

2 1B Delgado 294

5.2

7   Helton 257

4.5

17  

Edgar

228

4.7

1 2B Boone 296

5.5

2  

Soriano

294

5.3

9   Kent 253

4.6

14 3B Lowell 234

4.1

15  

Rolen

233

4.2

    Boone 208 3.7
4 SS ARod 282 5.1
7   Furcal 257 4.6
10   Nomar 249 4.7
19   Cabrera 224 3.9
19   Gonzalez 224 4.5
6 LF Pujols 268 5.0
11   Everett 248 5.0
18   Bonds 225 5.0
13 CF Wells 239 4.1
16   Wilson 229 4.1
    Jones 218 4.0
5 RF Sheffield 280 5.3
19   Kearns 224 4.1
    Mondesi 217 3.9
         

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PITCHER RANKINGS

 

 

Pos.

Player

Pts.

PPG

1

SP

Brown

243

20.2

4   Morris 229

19.1

5  

Loaiza

222

20.1

6   Mulder 220

20.0

7   Mussina 219

19.9

8  

Williams

214

19.4

10  

Millwood

203

16.9

13   Schmidt 196

19.6

14  

Prior

195

17.7

15   Nomo 189 15.7
16   Zito 185 15.4
19   Schilling 178 17.8
19   Wells 178 16.2
    Hudson 173 14.4
    Wolf 173 14.4
    Wood 173 14.4
12 MR Dotel 197 7.3
    Lidge 164 6.1
    Donnelly 150 6.5
1 CL Smoltz 243 9.0
3   Gagne 232 8.6
9   Wagner 209 7.5
11   Faulke 200 8.3
17   Biddle 181 6.7
18   Guardado 180 7.8

 

 

 

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