2003 Season

Edition No. 17 

   June 24, 2003     

NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN

SKIPJACKS BEGIN FADE

TRIBE DEFIES ODDS, LOGIC AND NATURAL LAW

Gentlemen:

     It is my sincere pleasure to be penning this issue of From the Bullpen after a much-appreciated eleven-week hiatus in which each of you provided the feature article for our weekly publication.  In this issue, we bring you the results from twelve weeks of play in the 2003 Hot Stove League season, along with the point totals for Week 12 for each team, individual leaders and a few other tidbits of statistical information.  Lastly, this issue contains a few of Skipper’s recent observations from Fenway Park, and a smattering of comments and random thoughts from this scribe about each of you and your teams.

     Week 12 was kind to this correspondent, just as the Guest Author spot has been to many of the rest of you during your week in the sun.  The Senators withstood Armando’s infuriating Walk-a-thon on Sunday night to finish the week with a chest-puffing total of 482 points, third best in the league this season if not for the Tribe’s 515-point war dance during the same week.  (More later on how this could have happened.)  This lofty weekly point total allowed

the beloved Senators to temporarily supplant the dastardly Skipjacks as the league leader on Saturday last, and to perhaps give our boastful inventor of the Quad Squad label some pause for thought about the rest of this season.

     While an unlikely chain of events allowed Itchie’s hitless wonders to regain the league lead on Sunday, the writing seems to be on the wall for our boy Johnny, unless some league patsy succumbs to his back-slapping, flesh-pressing sales schmooze and trades Itchie out of his current All Pitch, No Hit dilemma.

     You may note that the unbalanced Jax under their unbalanced leader are projected to finish well below the perfectly distributed Senators, by virtue of exceeding pitching penalty caps.  Of course, this problem may fix itself once Loaiza and Moyer and Company pitch back down to their potential, but more likely it will take some adroit management to right this sinking Skipjacks vessel.  Now that he is employed -- sort of -- our Middle Eastern friend is unlikely to be able to devote the same 60 hours a week to his team as before.  That said, I will stick my neck out a centimeter or two and predict that our defending champ will not be looking for words to rhyme with “Quint” this coming fall or winter. 

Week 12 Standings

DUGOUT CHATTER

     The Senators and Skipjacks have separated themselves from the pack just a bit, but the Cubs* are only a good week away from the top spot.  After Shamu’s squad, there is a traffic jam in the 4100 Sector with five teams in that zone with only 75 points separating 4th and 8th places.

     The Blues find themselves in 9th place through twelve weeks, with the torrid Tribe sniffing at their tailpipe.  The Tribe’s aforementioned 515-point Week

12 allowed U-Bob’s heretofore cellar-dwelling natives to rocket past the slumping Bombers and the potentialless Tigers into 10th place.

WEEK 12 TOTALS 

 SAME TIME LAST YEAR

     Last year at this time the Cubs* and the Skipjacks were locked in a heated two-team race with the Cubs* holding a narrow 4419.0-4415.0 lead over the Jax .  The Reds were a close 3rd with 4345.2, while the Senators were still in the hunt at 4173.5.  At the other end of the spectrum, the Red Birds were in the cellar with 3557.0, and the Tigers were in 11th with 3726.0 before beginning their plunge to the basement.

     The MVP of the league through twelve weeks last year was Barry Bonds with 374 points, which shows you the kind of year that Pujols (403) is now having.  The Cy Young leader last year was Curt Schilling with 364 points, with the Big Unit just behind at 357.5.

INDIVIDUAL LEADERS

 HITTERS

HITTING LEADERS BY PPG

 PITCHERS

FAR-AWAY THOUGHTS FROM FENWAY 

     As I attended the Red Sox’s Tuesday night blowout of the hapless Tigers at historic Fenway Park, many thoughts entered my head.  Here are a few of them: 

             Fenway Pawk.  It’s one of the great ones.

AROUND THE HORN

      Skipjacks:  With Piazza on the DL and A-Rod in the midst of a mid-season funk, this overrated team is showing itself to be the Paper Tiger of the 2003 season.  Absent Dmitri Young becoming Cy Young and Mike Williams turning into Teddy Williams, this team is poised to fall precipitously after the All-Star break.  With starters like Adam Kennedy, Luis Matos, Cory Lidle and Matt Kinney, you know this team is suffering from a lack of serious depth.  I look for this team to finish no higher than 3rd, and very possibly even out of the money altogether. 

     On Itchie as guest author:  It’s hard not to let out a titter or two when reading an issue of The Jiggernaut.  I’m not so sure I like having to write my own article for From the Bullpen the week before Itchie is scheduled to produce the next issue of The Jiggernaut, however, and I expect that the wiseacre owner of the Skipjacks will again take out his general frustrations about life (balding pate, expanding waistline, gambling addiction, no medical insurance coverage for sex change, etc.) on the Old Skipper next week.  So be it. 

     Cubs*:  Shamu’s team is a force to be reckoned with, with Bret Boone and Woody Williams carrying the squad while Shamu waits for Troy Glaus and Miguel Tejada to heat up.  If Shamu can keep Sweeney and Pedro healthy during the second half, and continue to get lights-out pitching from Nomo and Woody, this team has a heckuva shot at getting rid of the hated ’93 asterisk.

     On Shamu as author:  Amen, Brother.  The rest of you heathens need a little of that old time religion that Shamu is talking about.  In addition to his proselytizing, Shamu provided some fine comments and did himself proud in his first-ever publication of The Whale’s Tale.

     Chiefs:  Somehow this unimpressive looking team has kept itself in contention in the first half, even with subpar starts from Jason Giambi and Greg Maddux.  It hasn’t hurt that Mike Lowell was leading the major leagues in home runs for much of the early going, or that Orlando Cabrera has replaced Derek Jeter as a member of the elite triad of shortstops (Nomar, A-Rod, Cabrera), or that since-traded Eric Gagne leads all pitchers in points, or that Roy Halladay has won his last eleven decisions.  If Screech and B.T. can get the underperforming Corky Sosa back on the right track, this team has a legitimate shot at a money finish.

     On Screech as author:  Screech’s first effort as guest writer was much enjoyed by this author and the other league members, and moved several owners to tears as they recounted their own childhood baseball memories (like Vida Blue shrugging me off for an autograph in Kansas City).  Just think what he will be able to do when his next guest writing appearance rolls around, with the aid and comfort of co-owner Scott “B.T.” Krause, who is not likely to be confused with F. Scott Fitzgerald.

     Red Birds:  This quiet and unassuming team has managed to stay near the brink of contention, despite having very few players who are having outstanding years.  Although Smoltz is having a second great season as a reliever, the only other pitcher on this team who has done beans is Randy Wolf, who is in 13th place among starting pitchers with 234 through 12 weeks.  Although Jim Thome and Scott Rolen should be expected to heat up for the second half, this squad does not appear to have the spark that will be needed to carry the Red Birds  to their first-ever HSL title, although a finish in the top three is not out of the question.

     Tirebiter as author:  The Crimson Chirper of May 13, 2003, was a worthy attempt at humor by a guy who has been described as being as funny as a perforated ulcer.  We will look forward to his next belly-splitting Top Ten list when he guest authors during the second half.

     Reds:  After the Reds’ recent nosedive from the top of the standings, Magpie has been a bit more circumspect about his chances for winning the title this season.  Maybe Mitch really thought that Carl Everett would continue to bat .360 for the entire year and that Marcus Giles would continue to outperform Jeff Kent, but the bubble on this balloon was just waiting for the right time to burst.  Even with the Big Hurt, Nomar and Keith Foulke having tremendously successful seasons, without the Big Unit toeing the rubber every fifth day, and with Jeff Bagwell on target to hit single-digit home runs, things aren’t looking good for Curby.

     On Magpie as author:  As much as I hate to give the guy any credit at all, I have to say that I thought that Magpie’s first Curbside Chronicles was one of the funniest, most erudite guest offerings yet published under the From the Bullpen flagship.  I guess the guy really does have some gray matter deep down beneath the trademark flattop.  Even though he was unwilling to pay the proper amount of respect to me as publisher and chief editor, I still say Nicely done, Tricko.  Can’t wait for the next edition.

     Wahoos:  This very un-Possum-like team has no shot whatsoever with the pathetic pitching staff represented by the current roster.  Even if Curt Schilling shakes off the injury bugaboo and gets back to the mound, this staff is not good enough or deep enough to carry this team anywhere near the money positions this season.  I will admit that I am still stinging a bit over Possum having picked up Jae Weong Seo a couple of weeks ago after I cut him from my roster, the same week -- I might add -- that I also put in to try to pick him back up again.  On the other hand, Seo what.  He can’t cure all that ails the ’Hoos pitching staff. 

     On Possum as author:  Possum’s rendering was exactly what I would expected it to be  -- a whole lot of Possum’s stream-of-consciousness Message Board postings strung together.  Not the easiest read in the world to get through, but full of truly valuable insights, nevertheless.

     Irates:  This team is being kept aloft by a wing and a prayer.  Brad Wilkerson hits for the cycle, Vernon Wells is on pace for 150-plus RBIs, Shawn Chacon is on pace to win 24 games, and Rocky Biddele is pitching like the next Dennis Eckersley.  Don’t know if SloPay watches reality TV, but the reality of this Hot Stove League season is that his team is wildly overperforming in the first half and sure to drop in the second.

     On SloPay as author:  Here is an area in which SloPay cannot be accused of overperformance.  If SloPay spent more than three minutes scratching out his offering on toilet paper while visiting the commode, I’d be surprised.  Get with it, Slagball.

     Blues:  While Soriano got off to a great start (but has since cooled) and Rafael Furcal has been a nice surprise, there has been very little else to get excited about with this team.  Even if Bonds heats up and Erstad gets healthy, there are too many other holes to plug to expect this team to make a serious run at anything.

     I will say this about McBlunder’s pitching woes:  Life isn’t always fair.  Through last Sunday, Stretch’s boys had a collective ERA of 3.89, sixth best in the league and definitely nothing to sneeze at.  Yet for their trouble, the Blues’ staff has only been able to compile a 29-46 record, a miserable .387 winning percentage.  On the other hand, the pitching staff of the Irates, which has an almost identical collective staff ERA of 3.88, is winning at a 49-31/.613 winning percentage clip.  Go figure.  Because of his dismay over this phenomenon, rumor has it that Stretch has been looking into this Moonies thing that Shamu is in, with the hope that some spiritual intervention might help this pitching staff get things turned around in the second half.

     On Stretch as author:  As always, I enjoyed reading Blongo’s pithy and self-despairing Seventh Inning Stretch, and in particular his rhapsodic effort at poetry.  Very nice.

     Tribe:  Riddle me this:  How does a team which is mired in the league basement for virtually the entire first half of the season suddenly get good enough to score 515 points in one week, the top total in the league this season and now 13th-best of all time in our league?  Here’s how:  Everybody on the team has their best week of the season the same week.  During Week 12, Tribesters Geoff Jenkins had 49 points, Garrett Anderson 38, Ibanez 33.5, Giles 29.0, Green 20.5 and Wittington 20.5  On the pitching side, rookie phenom Dontrelle Willis had an incredible 62-point week, followed by Pineiro with 47, Rivera with 27, Batista with 26, Barowski with 25, Hampton with 20, and Vargas with 18.  If U-Bob had known to promote Carl “The Truth” Pavano (38 points for the week) in place of Livan Hernandez (minus 6), the total team points for this squad could have been even more astounding.

     Their Week 12 outburst propelled the Tribe past the Tigers and Bombers into 10th place, and within earshot of the Blues and Irates.  It will be interesting to see which team shows up for the rest of the season, the Week 12 Tribe or the Weeks 1-11 Tribe. 

     On U-Bob as author:  Comments unnecessary.  U-Bob’s April 15, 2003, edition of The Bellyflop was absolutely hilarious, and we look forward to more of the same in a few short weeks.

     Bombers:  This team is in the hurt locker.  With Vladdy on the DL with a herniated disk, with Kevin Millwood in a deep funk, and with nobody picking up the slack, the Bombers have drifted dangerously close to the cellar.  It looks like it will be a two-team race to stay out of the crapper come season’s end.

     On Mouse as author:  Loved Mouse’s seminal edition of The Mousetrap.  I still think U-Bob wrote it for Mouse, which is about as high a compliment as I can pay.

     Tigers:  What can one say about this team and about the sad state of this franchise?  Even with Javy Lopez hitting like Roy Campanella and Derek Lowe with his groove back, this team has slumped into the league outhouse with little chance of moving back the other direction.  On the bright side, while the Tigers team may be lousy, at least Big Guy has likeable players like Juan Gonzalez and Tom Glavine on his team, and so he can be proud about that.

     On Big Guy as author:  While short on knee-slapping content, The Tiger’s Tale was long on useful and interesting information.  I was particularly cheered to learn about Peter Cetera getting his teeth knocked out at a Cubs game which, like Big Guy, for some strange reason, gives me great satisfaction.  I also enjoyed his reprinting of the Bill James excerpt about Lonnie Smith’s defensive genius, which is one of my all-time favorite baseball writings. 

     Boys, this edition of FTB has gone on far longer than I intended and so I will close it out now with my appreciation to all of you for taking the time to share your thoughts with us this season, and my thanks for your anticipated brilliant offerings during the second half of the campaign.

     Good luck to all during the second half of the season.

                                  Skipper