2003 Season

   2003 Season

Special Edition:  Skipper Sez

   August 14, 2003     

 

     Because my law partner and colleague Tirebiter has shafted all of us -- first of all by giving us all the Iowa City cheer and blowing off The Trip, and then by brazenly refusing to pen a newsletter for the league organ during his appointed week -- I feel compelled to serve up a few tidbits, nuggets and pearls to try to make up for Tirebiter’s wholly uncivilized and unacceptable behavior.

 

     Without further ado, then, I submit the following:

 

TOP HITTERS

THROUGH WEEK 19 (AUGUST 10, 2003)

 

1.

Pujols

611

2.

ARod

586

3.

Helton

581

4.

Boone

569

5.

Sheffield

562

6.

Nomar

560

7.

Bonds

559

8.

Delgado

546

9.

V. Wells

512

10.

Manny R.

512

11.

Wilson

507

12.

Javy

496

13.

Lowell

483

14.

Cabrera

479

15.

Giambi

477

 

 

 

TOP PITCHERS

1.

Gagne

484

2.

Smoltz

477

3.

Loaiza

463

4.

Halladay

435

5.

Schmidt

433

(T)

Wagner

433

7.

Hudson

423

8.

Foulke

411

9.

Mulder

408

10.

Brown

399

(T)

Nomo

399

12.

Mussina

367

13.

Woody W.

366

14.

Pedro

362

15. Prior 357

WHO’S HOT - HITTERS

LAST THREE WEEKS

1.

ARod (Jax)

152

2.

M. Giles (Reds)

142

3.

Carlos Lee (Wahoos)

121

4.

Nomar (Reds)

112

5.

Javy (Tigers)

110

6.

Eric Chavez (Jax)

108

7.

Sheffield (Irates)

107

8.

Randy Winn (Boids)

105

9.

Shannon Stewart (Chiefs)

102

10.

Polanco (Reds)

101

11.

Magglio (Bombers)

100

(T)

Jay Gibbons (Blues)

100

(T)

Palmeiro (Tribe)

100

14.

Blalock (Reds)

94

15.

Lowell (Chiefs)

94

 

WHO’S NOT

1.

Glaus (Cubs*)

-3

2.

Byrnes (Senators)

1

3.

Edmonds (Cubs*)

3

4.

Mora (Cubs*)

4

5.

Catalanotto (Wahoos)

9

6.

Chris Woodard (Irates)

11

7.

Vidro (Tribe)

13

8.

Long (Jax)

13

 

WHO’S HOT - PITCHING

1.

Colon (Wahoos)

121

2.

Hudson (Bombers)

106

3.

Livan (Tribe)

105

4.

Harden (Blues)

97

5.

Mulder (Wahoos)

96

6.

Pettitte (Bombers)

94

7.

Gagne (Senators)

93

 

WHO’S NOT

1.

Claudio Vargas (Tribe)

-32

2.

Freddy (Cubs*)

-21

3.

Jose Mesa (Tribe)

-13

4.

Koch (Chiefs)

-1

5.

Matt Morris (Blues)

4

6.

Kaz Ishii (Cubs*)

6

7.

Jeff Weaver (Chiefs)

7

8.

Tomo Ohka (Jax)

7

9.

Cory Lidle (Jax)

7

10.

Seo (Wahoos)

11

11.

McDougall (Wahoos)

11

12.

Lima (Jax)

12

 

 

HIGH CHEESE

 

Ø

It’s not hard to see why Tricko’s Reds have vaulted to the lead in this thing the past couple of weeks.  The Who’s Hot list reads like Tricko’s starting lineup, and then some.  When you have that many players (Giles, Nomar, Polanco, Blalock, Andruw, etc.) that hot for that long (three weeks), the rest of your team doesn’t have to do much to help you post some big numbers.  The rest of us can only hope that the Commies have peaked a little too early.

 

Ø

On the other hand, it’s not hard to see why Shamu’s Baby Bears have fallen harder than Tricko on the mean streets of L.A. when one takes a glance at the Who’s Not list.  Poor Shamu* has had to watch in horror as Jim Edmonds (3 points in last three weeks) and Melvin Mora (4 points in last three weeks) have disintegrated before his very eyes, and starting third baseman Troy Glaus (—3, last three weeks), continues to stink it up for the Cubs* in what will likely be his worst-ever year in the major leagues.   Throw in Mike Sweeney’s continued troubles, Freddy (Krueger) Garcia’s continued Nightmare on Elm Street, and Sidney Ponson’s sudden hypothermia, and you can see why Shamu* is now considering switching over to Zen Buddhism for solace. 

 

Ø

I can’t believe that Kevin Appier pitched the Royals to an 11-0 win over the Yankees and Dream Weaver last night.  I thought that the Apeman was junk heap material.  Can Stretch’s Royals really hang on by their fingernails and get into the playoffs for the first time since the 1980s? 

 

I’m not sure what has me more alarmed, the fact that Tricko is going on the trip for the first time in a long time, or the fact that Possum claims that he is going to be in attendance.  Tricko will do well to watch for high curbs in the Queen City, and as to Possum, I plan on taking along plenty of antibacterial spray and some prophylactic antibiotics to try to stave off any deathly flu bug he might be inclined to share with the rest of us.  You may remember that on Possum’s last appearance on a Trip, way back in about 1987 or 1988 in the Krause Mobile Sewage-Treatment Plant, Possum sneezed his brains out for the entire three-hour ride home from Kansas City and put two-thirds of the league membership into sick bay for a week.

 

Ø

Next year we need to think about going to San Juan on The Trip if the ’Spos play all or most of their games in Puerto Rico.  Remember that we’ve already turned this into an international venture by virtue of our Detroit-Toronto-Cleveland swing many moons ago.

 

 

     Well, I could go on and on and on, and most of you probably wish that I would, but I will close this out as I need to pack my bags and get ready for the big weekend.  See you in Cincinnati.

 

                                                                                                                Skipper

 

 

 

 

 

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