Because my law partner and colleague Tirebiter has shafted all of us --
first of all by giving us all the Iowa City cheer and blowing off The
Trip, and then by brazenly refusing to pen a newsletter for the league
organ during his appointed week -- I feel compelled to serve up a few
tidbits, nuggets and pearls to try to make up for Tirebiter’s wholly
uncivilized and unacceptable behavior.
Without further ado, then, I submit the following:
TOP HITTERS
THROUGH WEEK 19 (AUGUST 10, 2003)
1. |
Pujols |
611 |
2. |
ARod |
586 |
3. |
Helton |
581 |
4. |
Boone |
569 |
5. |
Sheffield |
562 |
6. |
Nomar |
560 |
7. |
Bonds |
559 |
8. |
Delgado |
546 |
9. |
V. Wells |
512 |
10. |
Manny R. |
512 |
11. |
Wilson |
507 |
12. |
Javy |
496 |
13. |
Lowell |
483 |
14. |
Cabrera |
479 |
15. |
Giambi |
477 |
|
|
|
TOP PITCHERS |
1. |
Gagne |
484 |
2. |
Smoltz |
477 |
3. |
Loaiza |
463 |
4. |
Halladay |
435 |
5. |
Schmidt |
433 |
(T) |
Wagner |
433 |
7. |
Hudson |
423 |
8. |
Foulke |
411 |
9. |
Mulder |
408 |
10. |
Brown |
399 |
(T) |
Nomo |
399 |
12. |
Mussina |
367 |
13. |
Woody W. |
366 |
14. |
Pedro |
362 |
15. |
Prior |
357 |
|
|
WHO’S HOT - HITTERS
LAST THREE WEEKS
1. |
ARod (Jax) |
152 |
2. |
M. Giles (Reds) |
142 |
3. |
Carlos Lee (Wahoos) |
121 |
4. |
Nomar (Reds) |
112 |
5. |
Javy (Tigers) |
110 |
6. |
Eric Chavez (Jax) |
108 |
7. |
Sheffield (Irates) |
107 |
8. |
Randy Winn (Boids) |
105 |
9. |
Shannon Stewart (Chiefs) |
102 |
10. |
Polanco (Reds) |
101 |
11. |
Magglio (Bombers) |
100 |
(T) |
Jay Gibbons (Blues) |
100 |
(T) |
Palmeiro (Tribe) |
100 |
14. |
Blalock (Reds) |
94 |
15. |
Lowell (Chiefs) |
94 |
WHO’S NOT
1. |
Glaus (Cubs*) |
-3 |
2. |
Byrnes (Senators) |
1 |
3. |
Edmonds (Cubs*) |
3 |
4. |
Mora (Cubs*) |
4 |
5. |
Catalanotto (Wahoos) |
9 |
6. |
Chris Woodard (Irates) |
11 |
7. |
Vidro (Tribe) |
13 |
8. |
Long (Jax) |
13 |
WHO’S HOT - PITCHING
1. |
Colon (Wahoos) |
121 |
2. |
Hudson (Bombers) |
106 |
3. |
Livan (Tribe) |
105 |
4. |
Harden (Blues) |
97 |
5. |
Mulder (Wahoos) |
96 |
6. |
Pettitte (Bombers) |
94 |
7. |
Gagne (Senators) |
93 |
WHO’S NOT
1. |
Claudio Vargas (Tribe) |
-32 |
2. |
Freddy (Cubs*) |
-21 |
3. |
Jose Mesa (Tribe) |
-13 |
4. |
Koch (Chiefs) |
-1 |
5. |
Matt Morris (Blues) |
4 |
6. |
Kaz Ishii (Cubs*) |
6 |
7. |
Jeff Weaver (Chiefs) |
7 |
8. |
Tomo Ohka (Jax) |
7 |
9. |
Cory Lidle (Jax) |
7 |
10. |
Seo (Wahoos) |
11 |
11. |
McDougall (Wahoos) |
11 |
12. |
Lima (Jax) |
12 |
|
HIGH CHEESE
Ø |
It’s not hard to see why Tricko’s Reds have vaulted to the lead
in this thing the past couple of weeks. The Who’s Hot list
reads like Tricko’s starting lineup, and then some. When you have
that many players (Giles, Nomar, Polanco, Blalock, Andruw, etc.) that
hot for that long (three weeks), the rest of your team doesn’t have to
do much to help you post some big numbers. The rest of us can only
hope that the Commies have peaked a little too early.
|
Ø |
On the other hand, it’s not hard to see why Shamu’s Baby Bears have
fallen harder than Tricko on the mean streets of L.A. when one takes a
glance at the Who’s Not list. Poor Shamu* has had to watch in
horror as Jim Edmonds (3 points in last three weeks) and Melvin Mora
(4 points in last three weeks) have disintegrated before his very
eyes, and starting third baseman Troy Glaus (—3, last three weeks),
continues to stink it up for the Cubs* in what will likely be
his worst-ever year in the major leagues. Throw in Mike Sweeney’s
continued troubles, Freddy (Krueger) Garcia’s continued Nightmare on
Elm Street, and Sidney Ponson’s sudden hypothermia, and you can see
why Shamu* is now considering switching over to Zen Buddhism for
solace.
|
Ø |
I can’t believe that Kevin Appier pitched the Royals to an 11-0 win
over the Yankees and Dream Weaver last night. I thought that the
Apeman was junk heap material. Can Stretch’s Royals really hang on by
their fingernails and get into the playoffs for the first time since
the 1980s?
I’m not sure what has me more alarmed, the fact that Tricko is going
on the trip for the first time in a long time, or the fact that Possum
claims that he is going to be in attendance. Tricko will do well to
watch for high curbs in the Queen City, and as to Possum, I plan on
taking along plenty of antibacterial spray and some prophylactic
antibiotics to try to stave off any deathly flu bug he might be
inclined to share with the rest of us. You may remember that on
Possum’s last appearance on a Trip, way back in about 1987 or 1988 in
the Krause Mobile Sewage-Treatment Plant, Possum sneezed his brains
out for the entire three-hour ride home from Kansas City and put
two-thirds of the league membership into sick bay for a week.
|
Ø |
Next year we need to think about going to San Juan on The Trip if the
’Spos play all or most of their games in Puerto Rico. Remember that
we’ve already turned this into an international venture by virtue of
our Detroit-Toronto-Cleveland swing many moons ago.
|
Well, I could go on and on and on, and most of you probably wish that I
would, but I will close this out as I need to pack my bags and get ready
for the big weekend. See you in Cincinnati.
Skipper
|
|
|