Seventh Inning

Stretch

 

 

 

 

 

Special Edition of                                   

FROM THE BULLPEN          

Official Publication of the Hot Stove League                     

Eastern Nebraska Division                                    

Guest Editor:  Jon "Stretch" Blongewicz                        

 

2003 Season                             Edition No. 23                                  August 12, 2003

 
 

Inside the mind of Stretch McBlunder, Manager Kansas City Blues

 

     New scientific breakthroughs have now permitted qualified scientific personnel to do brain scans of individuals and report their random thoughts.  Always one to be at the forefront of humanity and wishing to help in any way toward the advancement of modern science and medicine, Stretch McBlunder, not being concerned about the possibility of personal exposure and embarrassment or the potential of dangerous political and social consequences of such a test, volunteered for such a test.  A portion of the results are being shared with his close friends in the Hot Stove League.  Here are some random, not verbally expressed, subconscious brain waves and thought patterns of Stretch McBlunder on a random day in August 2003 (Disclaimer: the following is not for widespread dissemination as these tests are closely guarded government secrets, so Jenna, donít tell anybody this stuff is available on the Internet.   Also, this is not for the faint at heart, you should probably avoid having your children read this weeks League Newsletter.):

 

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah.  How does one drop from 3rd to 11th in a matter of 3 weeks????????crap crap crap crap crap, blah blah blah blah, sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex, oh why bother crap crap crap crap crap.  I am so tired of Pete Rose.  He makes me sick. Get a life, get off television.  Why do those idiots in Bristol Conn. Keep putting him on.  Crap crap crap crap, blah blah blah blah. Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex, oh why bother crap crap crap crap crap blah blah blah blah, Maybe I can be governor of California, crap crap crap crap, blah blah blah, legal crap legal crap legal crap legal crap legal crap, legal blah legal blah blah, legal crap, legal blah.  How hot has Mulder been since I picked Moyer instead, absolutely white hot, complete games complete games, why do I not get complete games. Trades suck Donít even think about trying to get me to trade with you in Cincy. Crap crap crap, sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex, oh why bother. My starting center fielder is Endy Chavez aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh crap crap crap crap blah blah blah, Is Scott renting out his house in Eagle Colo. to the Kobe legal team???????? Is that going to be the most over hyped trial in a long line of over hyped trials.  I am so sick of it already.   Blah blah blah crap crap crap crap.   Bobby Valentine sucks, long live HR, crap crap crap crap crap How come no bonus points for an unassisted triple play, this league sucks, blah blah blah blah crap crap crap crap sex sex sex sex sex sex sex oh why bother crap crap crap crap crap more crap more crap more crap. Must get me some chili in Cincinnati crap crap crap. Good thing the Giants are there because the team the Reds are putting out there now is an embarrassment.  Comm. Selig should have put a stop to their wholesale slaughter of their team. Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Larry Flynt might make a good governor. Crap crap crap crap blah blah blah.   Royals are still going to pull it out.  Even if they donít, who cares.  They have given us a reason to watch the games again, it has been the best summer in KC for a long time, even without a drop of rain. Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap blah blah blah blah, If Tony Pena doesnít win Manager of the year and Angel Berroa win Rookie of the Year there will need to be criminal indictments handed out because serious crimes will have been committed.  Crap crap crap crap crap crap blah blah blah blah.  Maybe Iíll get a tattoo or maybe Iíll just get an ice cream cone crap crap crap crap crap.blah blah blah blah blah   How does one qualify for a save?  Does anybody know the answer? Does anyone in a bar in Pittsburg know?? crap crap crap crap crap crap blah blah blah blah As of week 9 I was in 3rd place.  As late as week 10 4th place.  How can the Blues fall so far so fast.  It couldnít be bad managing.  Must be injuries. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap. Bring back Soup Campbell.  Iíd take Dibble over Valentine even. Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap blah blah blah blah blah blah blah  sex sex sex sex sex sex sex Oh why bother, My kingdom for an intelligent client crap crap crap crap blah blah blah blah The new book by David Halberstam, ďTeammatesĒ about Ted Williams, Dom DiMaggio, Johnny Pesky is a really nice little read .I have never been a huge Williams fan (Sorry Ted), but you do come to appreciate him a little more after reading this.  You really come to admire Dom DiMaggio, especially after I just finished reading a Joe DiMaggio biography.  Halberstam continues to be an outstanding writer.  Pick up anything he has written and you will enjoy.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah crap crap crap crap crap Sports Illustrated did a pretty good job on the best sports books of all time and the recent best sports movies.  My only problem was with the exclusion of ďFor the Love of the GameĒ the Costner film of a few years ago. I may be the only one on the planet, but I  enjoyed it and thought it should be in the top 50.  Crap crap crap crap crap blah blah blah blah blah Iím spending too much time watching the Food Channel.  Blah blah blah blah blah crap crap crap crap crap crap Football practice starts in a week, what am I doing coaching football??  What am I doing coaching anything??? crap crap crap crap crap crap blah blah blah blah blah sex sex sex sex sex sex sex Oh why bother.  Is that lint in my belly button...must be...must be time to end this.  See you in Cincy. 

 
 

STANDINGS THRU WEEK 18

1.

Senators

6764.5

2.

Reds

6740.5

3.

Skipjacks

6567.0

4.

Chiefs

6418.5

5.

Cubs*

6379.0

6.

Red Birds

6322.5

7.

Wahoos

6318.0

8.

Irates

6182.0

9.

Bombers

6172.0

10.

Tribe

6088.0

11.

Blues

5929.5

12.

Tigers

5749.5

 

 

WEEK 18 POINT TOTALS

1.

Wahoos

532.5

2.

Chiefs

453.5

3.

Reds

434.5

4.

Bombers

427.0

5.

Red Birds

401.5

6.

Irates

388.0

7.

Skipjacks

347.0

8.

Blues

345.5

9.

Senators

339.0

10.

Tribe

308.0

11.

Tigers

268.5

12.

Cubs*

190.0

 

STANDINGS THRU WEEK 19

1.

Reds

7198.5

2.

Senators

7170.0

3.

Skipjacks

6956.0

4.

Chiefs

6838.5

5.

Cubs*

6750.0

6.

Wahoos

6568.0

7.

Irates

6563.5

8.

Red Birds

6539.0

9.

Bombers

6485.0

10.

Tribe

6385.5

11.

Blues

6290.5

12.

Tigers

6009.0

 

 

WEEK 19 POINT TOTALS

1.

Reds

458.0

2.

Chiefs

420.0

3.

Senators

405.5

4.

Skipjacks

389.0

5.

Irates

391.5

6.

Cubs

371.0

7.

Blues

361.0

8.

Bombers

313.0

9.

Tribe

297.5

10.

Tigers

259.5

11.

Wahoos

250.0

12.

Red Birds

216.5

 

 

     No individual point totals, or Whoís Hot and Whoís Not stocking stuffers for Week 18 as Skipper was on vacation and Tirebiter claims that he is too busy with legal work to attend to such silliness.

 

Bullpen Calls

 

÷

For those of you who have not been frequenting the league website, and in particular the Message Board, you need to get on the stick as the action over the wires has been hotter and heavier than Shamu* after a run through the Valentinoís buffet line.  If youíre not in on the action, youíre on the outside looking in.

 

 

÷

But there is a hue and cry to limit messages to 10,000 words or less.  If anyone needs to understand why, turn to Possumís offering on Message No. 170 on August 1 and you will quickly understand.  Tolstoy runs out of words before Possum even gets his word processor warmed up.

 

 

÷

I recently read that Dan Plesac, who has been pitching in the majors since 1986, has now struck men out in 42 different ballparks.  All of the same parks that I have been to, save the old parks in Kansas City and Minneapolis, I assume, plus Comerica in Detroit and the Great American Ballpark in Cincinnati.  Other than Great American Ballpark, perhaps, I assume that Rickey Henderson has stolen bases in all of these same ballparks, and maybe one or two others which closed down before Plesac came into the league.  Iíll have our research department get right on that.

 

 

÷

By the way, when Billy Mueller hit his grand slams from both sides of the plate last month, he became the first major leaguer ever to do this in a game, that is, to hit a grannie from both sides of the plate.  Amazing that a feat like this would be accomplished by someone who could be called a Punch and Judy hitter.

 

 

÷

Did anybody see Robin Venturaís quote last week after he hit his first-ever inside-the-park home run?  Ventura quipped that, ďNormally, a guy has to go on the DL for me to even get a triple,Ē or words to that effect.  Great line.

 

 

÷

The Detroit Tigers just lost their 82nd game, assuring them of their 10th consecutive losing season.  How sad to see this once-proud franchise so completely out of contention these days, not unlike their namesake in the Hot Stove League.  And while on the subject of storied franchises suffering lean times, the Beantowners from Boston, who havenít won a World Series since 1918, look to have a team that could actually compete with the Yankees, with the late-season pitching acquisitions made by Theo Epstein.  Could this be the year that the luckless New Englanders finally break the curse of the Bambino?  Donít bet against them.

 

 

÷

As pointed out by someone else recently, Shamuís* total team points during Week 18 was the second lowest of the year, and has effectively dropped the Cubs* out of contention, at least for now.  I am amazed at how a team like the Cubs* can score over 500 points one week, and the same team can then have a sub-200 point week.  Another case in point is the Reds, who right now look like the team to beat, at least on paper, and when you look at their starting lineup which includes Bagwell, Frank Thomas, Nomar Garciaparra, the red-hot Marcus Giles, Andruw Jones, Chipper Jones, Tim Salmon and a vaunted pitching staff, you can see how they are scoring at the clip of 400 and 500 points a week.  The question is, how did this team manage to post nine sub-200 point totals during Week 9 when the Reds notched the measly total of 194 points.  Same team?  It is sometimes a painful and humbling game.

 

 

 

 
 
 

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