2003 Season

Greetings:

You had to know I couldn’t make it through a Bullpen without going on about the Yankees in some way……

Something Mickey Mantle never did fully comprehend was the fanatical way people pursued his autograph. Of course, Mickey was aware of the value of his signature - he made millions signing his name during the last couple decades of his life – but he never really understood why somebody would treasure his autograph.

Mantle liked to poke fun at himself and the whole idea of the autograph craze by telling the following joke: “When I die, I’m going to be met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter, who’s going to say ‘Sorry, Mick, you can’t come in because of all the bad things you did in life, but before you go, God wants you to sign these baseballs.’” From Tales from the Dugout, Mike Shannon.

Verbiage by the Numbers

966

Average number of words per message from Mr. Tolstoy at the message board prior to Skipper asking him to keep it to a Gig or less

841

Average number of words post scolding (Nice restraint Leo)

647

Total number of words from the Irate Pirate in The Bullpen this year

Inconsequential by the Numbers

11	The number of teams Todd Zeile has hit home runs for, the all-time leader in the category (Cardinals, Cubs, Orioles, Phillies, Dodgers, Rangers, Marlins, Mets, Rockies, Yankees and now Les Expos)

Acts of the Baseball Gods

UBob, what did you do in a past life that has so infuriated the Baseball Gods? On August 29 a trade was declined by the frowned upon one for Geoff Jenkins & Jose Vidro. Later that fateful day: “Today the Brewers placed outfielder Geoff Jenkins on the 15-day disabled list with a broken left thumb. Jenkins is expected to miss the rest of the season.” And now this bit of news: “Because of his sore knee, Jose Vidro could be shut down for the season if the Expos fall out of contention. The Expos are barely in the race right now, so Vidro owners should prepare to find another second baseman for the final two weeks.”

Ramblings…..

Here’s to hoping Mike Maroth handles infamy better the Brian Kingman. Could Kingman be any more pathetic clutching to his 15 seconds of fame while noshing on the retired has-been’s autograph circuit?

Note to Larry Bowa. You inherited a team of laid-back youngsters with no veteran presence two years ago; they needed a fire lit under their collective keisters. That was then, this is now. Your unwavering hot-head act doesn’t play well with the current roster. Get over yourself.

What a great stretch run! Seattle & Boston separated by just a game in the AL wildcard race. Both Central Divisions up for grabs. And assuming the Cubs hang on to the Central (did I really just say that?), that leaves 7 teams within 7 games in the NL wildcard race.

Jeff Weaver is a worthless piece of crap. Why did I waste a roster spot on him until the 2^nd week of September?

Let the Joe Dailey era begin. Now.

Could Eric Gagne be any more filthy? 50-something consecutive saves, a strikeout to walk ratio of almost 8 to 1.

For all of the pub Kerry Wood gets, he’s hardly better than a .500 starter the last two years, 24-22. The Cubs should consider picking up another arm to go with Prior, Clement and Zambrano; and make Wood the closer. It seems to be working for Mr. Smoltz and the Bravos.

I leave you with these words to live by….

	Pitching wins championships
	There’s no crying in baseball
	And above all, avoid the urinal at the Ritz in KC.

Go Chiefs!

Screech

SKIPPER'S BRILLIANT EPILOGUE -- WEEK 23

Congrats and thanks to Tricko for his clever, heartfelt and generally on-the-mark comments in last week’s special edition of The Curbside Chronicles. Other than his obvious pandering to the baseball gods with his shameless anti-jinx rhetoric about the Reds finishing second to the Senators, it was a worthy and well-received effort from our man on (literally) the street. Little does Magpie know that he has possibly set himself up for an inverse jinx.

I just got back from Seattle where Cheryl and I spent the better part of last week. Just my luck, the Mariners were on the road the entire week, and I was therefore unable to revisit one of my favorite ballparks, Safeco Field. I did, however, afford myself the opportunity to return to Lowell’s restaurant in Pike Place Market, for another of their famous ranchhand breakfasts, so warmly endorsed and enthusiastically enjoyed by Brother Shamu* on our Opening Day Trip there to Seattle in 2000.

Apologies here to Possum for overlooking his Message Board offering about our first (1995) league Trip to Kansas City. I frankly admit that I immediately blanche whenever I see one of Possum’s posted diatribes, since I know that I will have to spend the next thirty minutes in a state of steely concentration in order to get through his long-winded messages. Be that as it may, Possum was dead-on in his memory that we saw the Rocket take the mound and the victory on August 3, 1985. However, I think that some of his other recounted details of the first Trip may have been a year off, as I believe that our trip to K.C. in B.T.’s mobile sewage treatment facility did not happen until 1986, Year Two of the Hot Stove League, and ditto with the Trip to Gates Barbecue for the salt block dinner. Big Guy, give us a definitive ruling on this one, will you?

Correction on last week’s Brilliant Epilogue from Skipper. It’s “Bye-Bye” Balboni, not “Buy Buy” Balboni. My bad.

I couldn’t agree more with Screech’s comments above in his From the Reservation about Brian Kingman’s continued pitiful quest to be the majors’ last 20-game loser. Other than this hapless squid, who in their right mind would want to be known for being the last 20-game loser?

When Maroth lost his 20th game for the Tigers, the newspaper printed the list of 20-game losers from 1970 forward. Maroth might take some cheer from some of the names that appeared on that list, including Mickey Lolich, Steve Carlton, Phil Niekro and Wilbur Wood, not to mention Denny McLain and Stan Bahnsen. Not bad company to be in, two Hall-of-Famers, baseball’s last 30-game winner, and a guy who won three World Series games for the Tigers.

Screech is also right that there are some very interesting postseason matchups developing, including a possible White Sox vs. Cubs World Series. Not likely, but possible. Not since 1906 have these two clubs hooked up in the World Series, when the Palehose won in six games over the record-setting Cubs team which included the Tinkers-Evers-Chance boys of poetry fame. Wouldn’t it be cool after 97 years to have another World Series matchup between these two long-time competitors from the City of Big Shoulders?

For the record, the last time that the White Sox won the World Series was 1917, just two years before the Black Sox threw the Series to the Reds. The last time that the Palehose were in the World Series was 1959, the longest dry spell among the major league teams who have been to a Series except for, you guessed it, the Cubs, who last made it to the October classic in 1945. The last time that the Cubs won the World Series was in 1908, following its only other World Series win in 1907, both over the Detroit Tigers.

If the Cubs and the White Sox can’t match up in the World Series, a nice backup combination would be the Cubs and the Red Sox. As most of you probably know, the Red Sox have not won the World Series since 1918, the year before they traded Babe to the Yankees. Eighty-four years without a World Series winner, meaning that most living Red Sox fans today have never experienced the joy of watching their team win it all.

A little more history on Red Sox Nation. After winning the first ever World Series in 1903, the BoSox were the dominant major league team in the teens, winning it all in 1915, 1916 and 1918. Through the first fifteen years of play (no series in 1904) then, the Red Sox were the World Champions four different times, more than any other team in baseball. And that was that. Harry Frazee traded away the Babe, and the Red Sox have been screwed ever since by the Curse of the Bambino.

Not that the Red Sox haven’t given it a good shot. After winning it in 1918 when Babe Ruth led the circuit in home runs as a full-time outfielder, the Sox were not in the Series again until 1946, the only year that Ted Williams ever played in the World Series. They lost to the Cards in seven games. Another twenty-one years passed until the Red Sox made it back to the Series, in 1967 when they were beat by the Cardinals again, and again in seven games. Eight more years passed before the Red Sox fell to the Big Red Machine in 1975, again in seven games. And then the last time that the Red Sox were in the World Series, seventeen years ago, was against the Mets in 1986 when Billy Buckner let the ball get through his wickets to force a Game Seven.

In summary, the Red Sox have been in the World Series four times since 1918, and have lost each and every one of them, all in seven games. Talk about your heartbreak.

At least the Red Sox have been in the World Series and competed for the title. How many of you knew that six of the current thirty major league teams have never been in the World Series? Name them, if you can (answer next week).

That will do it for Week 23. Have a good one, men.

Skipper

WEEK 23 POINT TOTALS

1.	Skipjacks	425.5
2.	Chiefs	409.5
3.	Wahoos	391.5
4.	Irates	347.5
5.	Senators	336.5
6.	Cubs*	334.5
7.	Tigers	332.5
8.	Tribe	327.5
9.	Red Birds	317.0
10.	Bombers	266.5
11.	Reds	264.5
12.	Blues	224.0

STANDINGS THROUGH

SEPTEMBER 9, 2003

1.	Reds	8697.0
2.	Senators	8436.0
3.	Skipjacks	8416.5
4.	Chiefs	8207.5
5.	Cubs*	8167.5
6.	Wahoos	7950.0
7.	Bombers	7929.0
8.	Irates	7880.0
9.	Tribe	7836.5
10.	Red Birds	7715.5
11.	Blues	7485.5
12.	Tigers	7300.5

TOP INDIVIDUAL HITTERS

1.	ARod	753/5.3 ppg
2.	Pujols	744/5.3
3.	Sheffield	690/5.0
4.	Helton	670/4.7
5.	Boone	652/4.7
6.	Nomar	644
7.	Bonds	633/5.6
8.	Delgado	629
9.	Manny	612
10.	Wells	593
(T)	Lopez	593
12.	Anderson	574
13.	Thome	571
14.	Soriano	569
15.	M.Giles	564

PPG LEADERS

1.	Bonds	5.6
2.	ARod	5.3
(T)	Lopez	5.3
(T)	Pujols	5.3
5.	Helton	4.7

TOP INDIVIDUAL PITCHERS

1.	Gagne	622
2.	Foulke	546
3.	Loaiza	541
4.	Wagner	524
5.	Hudson	520
(T)	Halladay	520
7.	Schmidt	519
8.	Smoltz	505
9.	Prior	498
10.	Brown	469
11.	Livan	463
12.	Mussina	462
13.	Vasquez	449
14.	Nomo	438
15.	Pedro	432

WHO’S HOT - HITTERS -
LAST 3 WEEKS

1.	Tejada	124
2.	Thomas	113
(T)	Vladdy	113
4.	Podsednik	111
(T)	Ortiz	111
6.	Aubrey Huff	108
7.	ARod	106
8.	Sheffield	100
9.	C. Jones	93
(T)	Marlin Bird	93
11.	Joe Randa	85
12.	Jason Kendall	83
(T)	Giles	83

WHO’S NOT - HITTERS

1.	Ray Durham	6
2.	Jason Giambi	11
3.	Melvin Mora	12
4.	Jose Hernandez	18

WHO’S HOT - PITCHERS -
LAST 3 WEEKS

1.	Prior	109
2.	Vasquez	107
3.	Gagne	101
(T)	Foulke	101
5.	Trachsel	98
6.	Schmidt	92
7.	Worrell	90
8.	Matt Morris	89
9.	Loaiza	87
(T)	Halladay	87
11.	Danny Kolb	82

WHO'S NOT - PITCHERS

Lima

-15

Clemens