2003 Season

Edition No. 9

   April 29, 2003     

     Hello, fellow HSL'ers.  First, a Thank You to Skipper for all the time and effort he (and Linda) put in to keep us informed and entertained with the weekly Bullpen and Ted's private message board.  And also for entrusting a boring, conservative accountant like myself the opportunity to take a turn to entertain the gang.  Seeing how my dry sense of humor and accounting aptitude can't stand up to some of the fellow guest scribes, I have been fortunate to obtain the services of Mohammad Saeed Al-Sahhaf, former Iraqi Information Minister, to assist me with this week's Bullpen.  I was able to track him down on his way to visit what is left of Saddamland Amusement Park in his hometown of Baghdad for one last ride on his favorite ride "The Spinning Saucers" before heading to the United States to contemplate his two job offers, National Spokesman for the Democratic Party ("We have not lost in Florida, we still have more chads to count and we have the infidel Republicans running for their lives where they will return to their houses to lick their wounds") or Publicity Chairman for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays ("WE have the Mother of all Teams and there is nothing that will stop us from winning your World Series, damn those Yanquis").

     "There is many a boy here today who looks on war as all glory, but boys, it is all hell."  Uttered by the Lincoln Tribe as he entered the War Room knowing that once again his detailed draft preparation would carry him far.  But how do you explain drafting Mariano Rivera in the sixth round when he's not projected to return to the Majors until the end of May.

     "All counter-revolutionary wars are unjust, all revolutionary wars are just."  This represents the Lincoln Irates' approach to each year as he annually adds to his wardrobe of $100 shirts and other teams' logos.  At least he gets the right size and he looks good in them!

     "We few, we happy few, we band of brothers.  For he today that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother."  The Skipper's mantra each draft day as we merrily gather in the War Room.  Only we all know, he would gladly spill our blood to win The Cup.

     "War is nothing but a continuation of politics with the admixture of other means."  This was the Skipjacks' explanation of how he became the only member of the "Quad Squad" as told to the Cubs* between rounds 25 and 26 after several brews and several chews.

     "A war regarded as inevitable or even probable, and therefore much prepared for, has a very good chance of being fought."  Not a profound statement from Ari Fleischer but from our very own Magpie as he was eavesdropping on the above exchange between the Skipjacks and Cubs*.  Or was it a thinly-veiled challenge to the Skipjacks after last year's last day snatch of the HSL Crown?

     "War is capitalism with the gloves off."  This could only come from the body of our stock market guru himself.  We all hope that our teams outperform our stock portfolios and lately that hasn't been a problem due to the recent economic times, but I always wonder if Ted trades stocks and bonds the same way he proposes trades with us?

     "Do not let us speak of darker days; let us rather speak of sterner days.  These are not dark days; these are great days -- the greatest days our country has ever lived."  Quite poetic for the Blues, but I'm not sure if his optimism is because of the changes in Jayhawk Land, or the Royals' imitation of the Yankees to start the year, or quite possibly because he knew Runelvys Hernandez would lead him to third place!

     "Blood alone moves the wheels of history."  Some say blood, some say money, some say it's just plain luck that is required to win the HSL.  But whatever it is, Scott and Screech think they got the last laugh by mowing my grass with the Giambi pick in the first round, but may he continue to bat .187 for the rest of the year or at least until he goes on the DL because I am not bitter about it.  I'm just not bitter about it at all!  Not even a little bit.  I'm tired of talking about it already!

     "Nothing is ever done in this world until men are prepared to kill each other if it is not done."  We should all take turns to be on the Redbirds watch as his 10 year bet with the Chiefs regarding his ability to win the HSL Crown come to fruition.  It's not looking good that he will be able to win that bet and I sure don't want to lose a friend who might go to drastic measures to change that outcome.

     "It has long been noted that some conquerors prefer enemies as fierce as tigers and brave as eagles, for only then can they savor the true joy of victory."  Could it be that the Tigers have brown bored competing with us for the HSL Crown as suggested in "The Bellyflop" and he is looking elsewhere to use his wealth of baseball knowledge and acumen?  Or how else do you explain his keeping company with the Lower Division for so long?

     "All wars are popular for the first thirty days."  Not to be confused with how long I think the Bronx Bombers will be in contention for the HSL Crown this year or for any previous year!  Remember, it's a marathon, not a sprint.  It's to be enjoyed over a long period of time, not a flash in the pan, and it's 162 games, not 30.

COACHES' CORNER

     Test your baseball knowledge and match the coach with their team:

WEEK 4 POINT TOTALS

STANDINGS THROUGH

APRIL 27, 2003

MOUSE'S MINUTE

     Just a flew closing comments as I draw to a close my first Bullpen and hopefully not my last as I continue to enjoy the "luck of the pen" as mentioned last week by Ted.  I mean, how else can you explain my second-place finish this week thanks to the No-No thrown by Mr. Millwood which literally threw him to the top of the Cy Young heap, with Mr. Sexson's three-run homer game for the Lincoln Irates keeping me out of first.  I figure a couple more No-No games will prove once and for all, "It's all about pitching."  Now we know why the Senators are such a force, "It's the power of the pen," or how else can you explain his 10th place position as he relinquishes the writing of the Bullpen to a bunch of wannabe scribes!  Just wondering.... 

     ...When did they stop selling beer in the Cardinals-Marlins 20-inning game?

     ...Why is a 20-inning baseball game considered boring but a 5-overtime hockey game is considered exciting?

     ...Is Ricky Henderson a lock for the Hall of Fame...that is, for MLB not the Atlantic League.

     ...Are the Royals for real or when does the bubble burst?

     ...Can the Omaha Royals beat the Detroit Tigers?

     ...Will the Red Sox closer by committee cost them the playoffs?

     ...Who wants to trade me a Yankee?

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     Thanks for your time and good luck to each one of you.

                                           Mouse