DRAFT REVISITED

The Draft sure looks different five months later. On draft day, the Cubs were the consensus pick as the best drafted team, and nobody liked the Skipjacks. Looking back at the draft now, it looks like somebody unplugged the power on the Cubs after Round 6. On the other hand, the Skipjacks had flashes of hidden brilliance throughout the draft, highlighted by Clemens in the 8^th, Ortiz in the 10^th, Drew in the 13^th, and the back-to-back acorns of Lidge and Beltre in the 19^th and 20^th rounds. The Senators were almost as good in late round drafting, picking up M. Young in the 8^th, V. Martinez in the 13^th, K Rod in the 14^th, Sheets in the 21^st, and Graves in the 28^th round. I can see clearly now that I had my head up my butt when I drafted Bagwell and left David Ortiz on the table.

The Blues had a great start, snagging Top 20 players Beltran, Rolen and Abreu in the first 5 rounds. The only other teams with multiple players on these lists after Round 5 were the Skipjax (Helton and Tejada), and the Tigers (R. Johnson and Gagne). Most teams were only able to select ONE player out of their top 5 picks to make the Top 20 lists! There were two teams without a single player on the lists after 5 rounds: The Reds, who had the first pick in each of the rounds; and, of course, the Tribe. More on these two later.

It is interesting to see how many players drafted after the 6^th round ended up on the list of Top 20 Hitters and Pitchers through the games of August 15. If there was any question about the reason for the difference between the Upper Division and the Mullets, consider this statistic: After Round 6 of the Draft, there were 20 players drafted and 2 free agent drafts who ended up on the Top 20 lists; 19 were taken by the UD and 3 by the Mullets. It seems pretty obvious to me from this data that the teams near the top are there by virtue of their middle and late round drafting.

I would venture a guess that this year was the worst Round 3 drafted in league history. Only Tejada and Rolen made the Top 20 Lists. The others: Zito, Jeter, Mussina, M. Ordonez, Berkman, J. Giambi, B. Boone, B. Webb, B. Giles, and K. Brown. Yeesh. Granted, some of these guys got hurt, but if we could start over and draft a team today for the rest of the season, there aren’t any of these players that would be taken by Round 3.

Possum scored quite a coup in drafting back-to-back-to-back Top 20 performers in Rounds 7 through 9 with Edmonds, A. Dunn and Nathan. The Senators also had a quick fix during Rounds 13 and 14 with Victor Martinez and K Rod, as well as the previously mentioned Skipjax drafting of Lidge and Beltre in Rounds 19 and 20. The Reds had a horrible draft, which must be a testament to his management during the season. (How’s that for a left-handed compliment?)

TRADE WINDS

The hot topic recently has been the questionable trade between the Reds and Wahoos, which has been assailed as bailing out the Wahoos from the proverbial corner in which they had painted themselves with too many low average sluggers (slugs) getting all their points from HRs, and no middle reliever points. Magpie graciously (stupidly, selfishly, collusively?) bailed him out by taking Dunn, Teixeira and J. Valentin off his hands, and giving up high average Garciaparra and a great MR in Tom Gordon.

Society passes certain laws and rules to benefit the masses, although an individual might not like its individual application to him. There is an unwritten rule in friendly competitions that near the finish line, you don’t help the leader unless there is a significant advantage to be gained from the deal. If you need a tutorial on how this works at a card table, ask Snickler (or Skipper, or Dick Huebner, or me). Time will tell, but the visceral reactions from the Skipjacks and Senators seem to speak what everyone else thought: Possum took Magpie for a ride on this one. This trade allowed the Wahoos to avoid, or at least soften, what would have been a horrific crash with the limits on Home Runs. Possum’s delight at his good fortune has been confirmed by his recent Message Board postings about what a great deal this was for Magpie. Relax, Possum, you don’t need to sell this one anymore.

LEAGUE MOCKERY?

There have been recent trades of questionable status involving the Tribe, whose rotting carcass has now been picked clean of any meat. Why would U Bob give up Brian Giles for Glavine and Graves, only to keep these two pitchers in his minors? And the recent trade between the Tribe and Irates, in which the Irates picked up A. Huff and C. Patterson for a bucket of dung, doesn’t even pass the smell test. Perhaps someone should notify Denny about the deal.

In addition to keeping Glavine and Graves in the minors, the obvious tanking of this team can be seen by the numerous players on its active roster who have been on the DL for an extended period of time or performing far worse than another player at the same position in the Tribe minors. One exception has been Jose Lima, recently picked up by Underbelly on the Free Agent wire, apparently to administer his usual punishment to a team’s point total. However, Lima has been programmed for so long to do exactly opposite of what his owner wants, he’s been pitching like his hair’s on fire, and amassing large amounts of points.

Bob, your team sucks, but the manipulated, depressed point totals for the Tribe are about as accurate as Fahrenheit 911. This fall, when you are getting your union card autographed by Michael Moore at the corpulent hypocrite’s appearance in Lincoln, remember the haunting words of the League’s moral compass, Big Chief Krause, who said, "You’re making a mockery of the League."

MY DREAM AS A FISH

Here it is, mid-August, and time for the annual run of the mullet. I’m swimming along, thinking about how this summer has been quite different than the past few years. The weather has been pleasant, and I have happened upon some unexpected good fortune along the way. The other fish I’m used to swimming with are nowhere in sight. I apparently took a wrong turn, and now find myself in a vaguely familiar channel, swimming with the big fish, including a wahoo and a skipjack. There are a couple of other fish in this pack, tagged with some Regency logo, which may indicate they were caught, but thrown back. There’s also an overfed red fish behind me, doing a lot of talking, but too far back for me to pay much attention to his chattering. My familiar group of mullet friends must be in a pack somewhere in another stream. I think it might be near Lincoln.

This is the first time since 1989 that I can remember five teams with a chance to win it this late in the season. That year, there were five teams packed together going into the last month, and the Tigers were predicted to finish fifth in From The Bullpen. You can check the Cup to see how it came out that year. It should be exciting down the stretch. Now if we could just get those projected points to be what counts . . .

THE TRIP

Bring your gloves this weekend. If you don’t have room in your carry-on bag, we can always find room in Snickler’s steamer trunk with the travel stickers. I’m bringing a Laser Ball, which records how fast it is pitched on a digital read-out on the ball. Remember, Itchie and I were publicly recognized by the PA announcer as having the two fastest arms in the crowd at a packed Omaha Royals play-off game attended by several members of the HSL.

See you in San Diego.

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Many kudos to Big Guy for his comprehensive and thoughtful analysis. Man, this guy loves his stats. Hey, Blongo, what were you saying last week about not having access to this type of information so you could properly complete your 7th Inning Stretch? Hrrrrrmmpphh.  And by the way, were those the same three words that the San Diego Chicken said to you at a Royals game, "So sue me," or what? Oops, didn’t mean to reopen that ugly chapter of the celebrated McBlunder legal archives.

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Loved Big Guy’s schtick on the Mullets of the league. Very funny, but dang, so very true. Must be something in the water down there in Salt Creek, the spawning stream for those Capital City Mullets.

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Not that I want to promote an Omaha vs. Lincoln and All Comers/We vs. Them rivalry in our peacefully cohesive league, but one has to recognize if one is circumspect that 16 out of the 19 Hot Stove League championships have been won by the Omaha-based clubs (but don’t get too smug over your Omaha team status, Mouse and Tirebiter –– the two of you haven’t exactly been shouldering the load for all of us here on the banks of the Missouri). And, of the three pennants won by non-Omaha based clubs, one has a perpetual asterisk attached to it; one was bought and paid for by our league jillionaire; and one was the product of a once-in-a-blue-moon/pigs are now beaming through the galaxy/Shamu just passed up a second helping of biscuits, phenomenon, and can’t really be accredited to the skill of its drafting team. But hey, it’s just one man’s opinion.

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Did somebody get the license plate number of that semi-truck with the mudflaps with the chubby little Redbirds on them? Holy smokes, it’s like somebody shot Tirebiter out of a cannon this week. Through three days of play, the once-pitiable Redbirds have 268.5 points for the week, putting Jim Ed’s team in first place on a Projected Points basis. The tease is on. We’ll let you get close, Jimmy, but then it’s time for you to crawl back in your hole. It should be noted, however, that the Redbirds have had this enormous surge this week even without the benefit of a providential trade from Possum, such as has inflated the Reds’ point total this week.

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In the carcass-picking department, I take umbrage and demand a retraction of Big Guy’s suggestion that my trade with ’Belly was anything other than an above-board, arms-length transaction. It just so happens that my arms are a lot longer than U-Belly’s, and were able to reach around his neck and squeeze out the last bit of life-blood from his team. But hey, I gave him the choice of Buehrle or Glavine and Urbina or Graves for the fifth-best left fielder, Giles, and how can that be anything but fair? Don’t be tarring me with that same brush that you have used to blacken Possum and Tricko.