2005 Season

Thank God for Bob

If you had walked into the War Room on draft day, like I did, and caught a glimpse of Skipperdoodle's outfield rankings and Possum's strategy to draft high risk pitching, how could you not have felt confident in your chances for the 2005 HSL title? That being said (written), as of June 5, 2005, the Reds trail both the Senators and the Wahoos – as well as everybody else – except for good old Bob. In all the years of the HSL, I have never thought that Bob drafted a really bad team. In fact, this year I thought Bob had a very good team with Kendall, Ortiz, Chavez, Ordonez, Wood, Prior and Smoltz. I don't know what happens to Bob every year. As the saying goes, "the sun don't shine on the same dog's ass everyday, but mister you ain't seen a ray of light since you got here." I think Bob is the "Anti-Itchie." John can turn water into wine (and drink it voluminously). Bob can turn wine into sewage by the bucket full. Oh well, I can't explain it or even understand it. But, it has turned into a safety net of sorts. No matter how bad the Reds do, the Tribe have the bottom covered. Thank God for Bob.

The Spread

As of Sunday, June 5, 2005, the race for the Hot Stove League crown was close to some and not so close to others, but the ability to move in the rankings is possible for everyone – even Bob. Here is the point spread as of June 5:

		1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10	11	12
Redbirds	(3312)	X
Skipjacks	(3302)	10	X
Irates	(3259)	53	43	X
Chiefs	(3065)	247	237	194	X
Bombers	(3031)	281	271	228	34	X
Tigers	(3014)	298	288	245	51	17	X
Blues	(2999)	313	303	260	66	32	15	X
Senators	(2956)	356	346	303	109	75	58	43	X
Wahoos	(2877)	435	425	382	188	154	137	122	79	X
Cubs	(2825)	487	477	434	240	206	189	174	131	52	X
Reds	(2804)	508	498	455	261	227	210	195	152	73	21	X
Tribe	(2612)	700	690	647	453	419	402	387	344	265	213	192	X

The fall off in the standings between third and fourth is notable, but not insurmountable. The spread shows that the standings are very volatile – as it should be this early in the season. With that said, "at the end of the day", I predict the following order of finish:

1)	Cubs
2)	Chiefs
3)	Skipjacks
4)	Reds
5)	Redbirds
6)	Blues
7)	Irates
8)	Tigers
9)	Bombers
10)	Wahoos
11)	Senators
12)	Tribe

The reasons for the downward or upward movement of each team is obvious and self explanatory based on the team rosters and statistics. If you can't figure it out, you must be blind. It's not just one man's opinion – it’s a fact Jack (f.1). To assist your review, I offer the following isolated observations which may be deceiving, but I think the following are prophetic:

1)	Senators	"Only Pujols and Oswalt do not make a winning team make" say Master Yoda.
2)	Chefs	The Chefs need seasoning, but the core ingredients are there (Pedro, Helton, Drew, Anderson, Mulder). I would say to beware of to many cooks in the kitchen; however, Jeff assures me that the Chefs are "Scott bought, but Screech driven."
3)	Tribe	Four words – "Blue Collar Comedy Tour."
4)	Redbirds	If Buser can keep a steady hand on the wheel and no barley pops in the car, this team could do it. Yeah, well Drew's chin could get a suntan if he had a smaller nose. In other words – it ain't gonna happen.
5)	Cubs*	Follow the "star" to the chosen one. This is a good team.
6)	Skipjacks	Like JT's noggin, this dog's ass has finally got sunburned and needs some shade. Why are you hanging on to Giambi? Trade bait for Mouse?
7)	Wahoos	Damn point limits!
8)	Tigers	The starting pitching staff is as scary as the first glimpse of General Noriega in the sunlight of a Cleveland morning.
9)	Bombers	Who is "Chein-Ming Wang"? Is that an old alias you used on your hospital audit jobs?
10)	Blues	You don't complain about Vidro, Rolen or Harden, but then again most death row inmates go away quietly.
11)	Irates	Your relief corps are as weak as the pressure JT put on the comb going through his few remaining hairs. See me about a trade.
12)	Reds	No where to go, but up. Thank God for Bob!

*1) Subject to modification in the next curbside chronicles on August 30, 2005.

Undrafted Team

The following team was not "drafted" at the War Room on April 2, 2005:

	Points	Position
Zaun	140	C
Johnson	214	1B
Counsell	198	2B
Inge	188	3B
Perez	189	SS
Dellucci	179	LF
Clark	206	CF
Monroe	151	RF
Iguchi	167	2B
Hillenbrand	177	3B
Barmes	231	SS
Rogers	225	SP
Myers	216	SP
Garland	186	SP
Redman	167	SP
Harang	151	SP
Young	148	SP
Taverez	163	MR
Hermanson	175	CL
Ayala	150	MR
TOTAL POINTS	3,621

This team would be in first place in the HSL rankings. I know that the HSL is "only" a 12 team league and, thus, the free agent pool is a little beefier than that of a 15 team league. However, I submit that 2005 is unlike any year of the storied HSL's existence. The chemically induced statistics of many hitters are no longer available. Beltre is just Beltre this year. Thome is just Thome. Sosa is just Sosa. I like it. Talent over science any day. The free agent drafts are more exciting and important because the margin between players is closer. Many HSL teams are starting two or more hitters that score less than 3.0 points per game. A single superstar injury is more devastating this year than in the past. Every point is as precious as a hair follicle to Itchie.

STATS Leaders

The HSL is not well represented on the STATS leader boards. No HSL team cracked the top 15 teams for offense or pitching, but some HSL teams did crack the top 15 in isolated categories:

1)	Top Offense	2343
	15^th rated team	2231
	HSL (Irates)	2171

2)	Top Pitching	1792
	15^th rated team	1447
	HSL (Skipjacks)	1438

3)	Quality Starts	57
	Skipjacks – 3^rd	53

4)	Saves	54
	Reds – 6^th	47
	Chiefs 7th	46

Hitters/Pitchers

Top 12 Pitchers			Top 12 Hitters
		Points			Points
1.	Halladay	255	1.	Lee	317
2.	Martinez	244	2.	Roberts	292
3.	Clemens	233	3.	Abreu	280
4.	Willis	230	4.	Tejada	269
5.	Rogers	225	5.	Rodriguez	268
6.	Peavy	221	6.	Pujols	262
7.	Santana	221	7.	Kent	243
8.	Myers	216	8.	Soriano	243
9.	Buehrle	215	9.	Teixeira	242
10.	Beckett	204	10.	Ortiz	234
11.	Shields	192	11.	Barmes	231
12.	Hernandez	191	12.	Young	225

And that is all I gotta say about that.

Curby

SKIP’S BLIPS

**	Kevin Brown is now available. Call me with trade offers.
**	After heading up the leader board for several consecutive weeks, the Skipjacks have finally figured out that they’re not good enough to be a championship team in 2005, and have slipped down into the 3rd position. After a burst of legerdemain from the Magic Man, this team could even be headed lower. What a shame for all of us.
**	I wonder if SloPay’s squad has ever been in 2nd place this late into a season? Unfortunately, the league record-keeping prior to the Bill James system probably doesn’t provide this kind of detail. However, since 1993, although I haven’t gone back to confirm this, I will go out on a limb and suggest that this is probably the latest that the Pirates have ever been in the top two. Am I wrong, SloPay? Be that as it may, the important thing is, enjoy your time in the sun.
**	It just occurred to me that our current top two teams, the Redbirds and the Irates are both still looking for their first HSL title. If I can’t win this thing for the fifth time this year -- and I’m not saying I can’t, but it ain’t lookin’ good right now -- it would sure be neat to have a season-long Texas death match between these two proud but frustrated franchises. That’s right, Itchie, it’s time for you to bow out and let someone else have some fun. You’ve been hogging the limelight too long.
**	I see that Roy Halladay is now the top pitcher with 255 points, although my mismanagement of him keeps him from being recognized as the top Cy Young candidate. Is my memory failing me, or were there more than a few titters if not outright guffaws with the old sage (me) took Roy Boy in the 5th round of the Draft? Let that be a lesson to all of you.
**	Next week at this time I will be en route to Cooperstown with my boys and Itchie and Son of Itchie, where we will educate our three yoots at the holy land of our national pastime. Thanks to Itchie’s worldwide bidness connections, we will then head to Yankee Stadium to see a match-up between two of the most storied franchises in history, the Yankees and the Cubs. I’m sure it won’t be any fun at all. We will report back.
	That’s it for this week.

Skipper

STANDINGS THRU WEEK 9, JUNE 5, 2005

Upper Division
1.	Redbirds	3312.0
2.	Skipjacks	3302.5
3.	Irates	3259.5
4.	Chiefs	3065.5
5.	Bombers	3031.5
6.	Tigers	3014.5
Lower Division
7.	Blues	2999.5
8.	Senators	2956.5
9.	Wahoos	2877.5
10.	Cubs*	2825.5
11.	Reds	2804.0
12.	Tribe	2612.0

POINT TOTALS THRU WEEK 9, JUNE 5,2005

1.	Redbirds	407.0
(T)	Blues	407.0
3.	Tigers	388.5
4.	Bombers	378.5
5.	Chiefs	372.5
6.	Cubs*	370.5
7.	Senators	362.5
8.	Wahoos	346.0
9.	Tribe	342.5
10.	Reds	308.5
11.	Irates	284.5
12.	Skipjacks	240.0