2005 Season

With only 7 weeks to go, this race is getting tighter than Timmie and Lassie.

STATISTICS

Hot Stove League Standings thru Sunday, August 14, 2005

Team	Bat	Pitch	Proj.	TOTAL
Omaha Skipjacks	4027.5	3115.0	6910.2	7142.5
Omaha Red Birds	4151.0	2794.5	6855.5	6945.5
River City Reds	4083.5	2505.5	6561.0	6589.0
Omaha Senators	3792.5	2778.5	6521.0	6571.0
Lincoln Chiefs	4157.0	2368.5	6479.5	6525.5
Omaha Bronx Bombers	3878.0	2575.5	6412.5	6453.5

Hanover Wahoos	4247.5	2183.0	6421.5	6430.5
Lincoln Irates	4296.5	2085.0	6381.5	6381.5
Detroit Tigers	4203.0	2166.5	6369.5	6369.5
Kansas City Blues	4032.5	2245.5	6278.0	6278.0
West Des Moines Cubs	4212.5	1952.0	6159.5	6164.5
Lincoln Tribe	3608.0	2417.5	6025.5	6025.5

TOP 20 Hitters thru Sunday, August 14, 2005

No.	Name	Pos.	Points	Draft Round	Player No.	Team
1.	Alex Rodriguez	3B	601	1	5	Skipjax
2.	Derek Lee	1B	597	9	99	Blues
3.	Albert Pujols	1B	579	1	1	Senators
4.	Miguel Cabrera	LF	534	3	27	Tigers
5.	Miguel Tejada	SS	532	1	6	Reds
6.	David Ortiz	1B	522	1	12	Tribe
7.	Manny Ramirez	LF	517	1	8	Bombers
8.	Alfonso Soriano	2B	515	4	39	Tigers
9.	Michael Young	SS	510	2	21	Irates
10.	Andruw Jones	CF	504	5	53	Skipjax
11.	Jason Bay	LF	502	11	124	Wahoos
12.	Mark Teixiera	1B	500	3	29	Skipjax
13.	Brian Roberts	2B	491	11	129	Irates
14.	Bobby Abreu	RF	484	2	14	Redbirds
15.	Gary Sheffield	RF	483	2	20	Bombers
16.	Adam Dunn	LF	473	1	9	Irates
17.	Derek Jeter	SS	470	3	35	Cubs
18.	Jeff Kent	2B	457	8	86	Cubs
19.	Vlad Guerrero	RF	462	1	2	Redbirds
20.	Hideki Matsui	LF	453	3	30	Reds

Look at how the cream has risen to the top. There are 7 first-round selections out of the Top 20 Hitters, led by the lovable AJob. MIA: Todd Helton 333, Ichiro 417. Ichiro is close to being on the list. Mr. Helton, however, has probably fallen victim to the steroid testing policy. It makes you question his prior stats. His 2000 season was arguably one of the 5 best statistical years in MLB history, and 2001 was not far behind. Hmmm. If he tests positive for juice . . . Oops. I just erased him from my memory and the history books.

TOP 20 Pitchers thru Sunday, August 14, 2005

No.	Name	Pos.	Points	Round	Draft Player No.	Team
1.	Chris Carpenter	SP	540	5	50	Redbirds
2.	Roger Clemens	SP	518	4	44	Bombers
3.	Pedro Martinez	SP	470	2	19	Chiefs
4.	Chad Cordero	CL	461	15	170	Redbirds
5.	Roy Oswalt	SP	431	2	13	Senators
6.	Mariano Rivera	CL	428	3	32	Bombers
7.	John Smoltz	SP	405	3	36	Tribe
8.	Johan Santana	SP	403	1	3	Tigers
9.	Jake Peavy	SP	403	4	42	Skipjax
10.	Dontrelle Willis	SP	403	17	194	Cubs
11.	Billy Wagner	CL	400	7	83	Redbirds
12.	Mark Buehrle	SP	398	9	101	Bombers
13.	Roy Halladay	SP	383	6	72	Senators
14.	Bartolo Colon	SP	382	10	110	Blues
15.	Joe Nathan	CL	379	5	57	Irates
16.	Brad Lidge	CL	372	3	25	Senators
17.	Andy Pettitte	SP	365	13	152	Skipjax
18.	Scot Shields	MR	361	17	204	Senators
19.	A.J. Burnett	SP	357	8	93	Wahoos
20.	John Patterson	SP	349	FA	336+	Skipjax

MIA: Randy Johnson 295, Jason Schmidt 227.

Number of Players on Top 20 Lists

Team	Hitters	Pitchers	Total
Senators	1	4	5
Chiefs	1	1	2
Tribe	1	0*	1
Reds	2	1*	3
Redbirds	2	3	5
Cubs	2	1	3
Skipjax	3	3	6
Bombers	2	3	5
Wahoos	1	1	2
Tigers	2	1	3
Blues	1	1	2
Irates	3	1	4

* Smoltz traded/stolen from Tribe by Reds.

Witness Protection Program Places High-Profile Mob Informant on Kansas City Royal After Franchise Record 17 Straight Losses

The Kansas City Royals added a new rightfielder yesterday – a 5-foot-8, 275 pound, 53-year old mob informant the federal witness protection placed with the team as a means to keep him out of public view. Listed on the roster as “Jim Smith,” the new Royal is reportedly Vinnie Macaluso, a construction foreman and Mafioso from New Jersey who is preparing to testify for the government in the trial of John A. Gotti, the son of late mob boss John Gotti.

No one from the Federal Witness Protection program would comment on record about “Smith,” but an anonymous source within the department confirmed Macaluso was placed with the Royals. “We couldn’t think of a place where a person is more likely to go unnoticed than with the Kansas City Royals,” said the source. “By playing with them we can be assured no one will ever find him because his face will never be on television and because almost no one attends their games.”

“Smith” reportedly has never played baseball in his life, something the Witness Protection program thinks works to their advantage. “Since he’ll probably be striking out all the time and dropping fly balls and falling down and stuff, he’ll fit in perfectly with the Royals and won’t raise flags with anyone,” said the source. “We heard he could actually play a little bit of football, so that’s why we didn’t place him with the Arizona Cardinals.”

www.SportsPickle.com, August 16, 2005.

MOLESWORTH

Speaking of short, hefty ballplayers, I enjoyed this snippet from the New Bill James Historical Baseball Abstract about a player named Carlton Molesworth. Although he wasn’t the heaviest player of his era (1880’s), he received honorable mention from Bill James.

Molesworth “pitched briefly for the Washington Nationals in 1895. He stood just 5 feet 6 inches, but weighed 200. Carlton Molesworth is such a great name for a factotum. Can’t you see this portly man in a butler’s garb, waddling to the beck and call of an even more portly industrialist?

Rich FOP:	Molesworth, draw my bath.
Molesworth:	As you wish, sir. Will there be anything else, sir?
Rich FOP:	No, Molesworth, you are free to go after that task is complete. However, I do not wish you to “raid” the larder on your way out, as has been your custom of late.
Molesworth:	Very good, sir. Good night.”

Remind you of anyone in our League?

PHILADELPHIA WILL DO

There is a classic scene from the movie “My Little Chickadee,” starring W.C. Fields. The setting is the Old West, and Fields is about to be hung by an angry posse. With the noose around his neck, the Sheriff asks Fields if he has any final requests. Fields responds, “I always wanted to see Paris before I die.” Disgusted, the Sheriff tells the posse to string him up, and Fields urgently yells, “Philadelphia will do!”

For the 2005 League Trip, apparently most of you chumps would rather see Paris. Philadelphia will have to do. Actually, I am eagerly looking forward to seeing three games in a new city and stadium with three great baseball fans and chums. It will definitely do.

Good luck on the stretch run, boys.

Big Guy

SKIP’S BLIPS

**	The great Roger Clemens had another fantastic outing in his last start last weekend, pitching eight (or was it seven?) innings of two-hit ball, giving up no earned runs, lowering his ERA to 1.32. Once again, the Astros provided him with no run support, and when he left the game, the score was goose eggs. My man Brad Lidge came in and gave up a 9th inning home run to take the loss. Nice. Anyway, because Clemens will probably end up with only about 13 or 14 wins because of the lack of run support from the Astros, he is unlikely to win the Cy Young this year. What a shame, because he has never pitched better in his career.

**	Speaking of great 300-game win pitchers, I watched Maddux last night in his duel with Andy Pettitte and the Astros. Maddux absolutely had the Astros flummoxed, getting them to swing at bad pitches almost every single time up. When he left the game after 7 for a pinch hitter, he was pitching as well as I have seen him pitch in years, and so perhaps there is hope that he will keep his 15-win streak alive after all.

**	Don’t look now, but U-Bob and his Tribe are closing ground fast on Shamu and his Cubs. Is it possible that the lowly Tribe* will actually finish someplace other than in the league basement? Egad! But it could happen.

**	Two more days and we leave on our trip to Philly. Should be a good one. More later on this.

WEEK 19 STANDINGS

Upper Division
1.	Skipjacks	7142.5
2.	Redbirds	6945.5
3.	Reds	6589.0
4.	Senators	6571.0
5.	Chiefs	6525.5
6.	Bombers	6453.5
Lower Division
7.	Wahoos	6430.5
8.	Irates	6381.5
9.	Tigers	6369.5
10.	Blues	6278.0
11.	Cubs*	6164.5
12.	Tribe	6025.5

WEEK 19 POINT TOTALS
1.	Irates	453.5
2.	Blues	424.0
3.	Reds	422.0
4.	Tribe	405.0
5.	Tigers	397.0
6.	Wahoos	365.0
7.	Redbirds	345.0
8.	Chiefs	337.5
9.	Senators	320.5
10.	Skipjacks	303.5
11.	Cubs*	285.0
12.	Bombers	278.0

INDIVIDUAL LEADERS

HITTERS
1.	Derrek Lee	583.0
2.	Albert Pujols	570.0
3.	Alex Rodriguez	556.0
4.	Miguel Cabrera	524.0
5.	David Ortiz	513.0
6.	Miguel Tejada	508.0
7.	Manny Ramirez	507.0
8.	Alfonso Soriano	506.0
9.	Brian Roberts	504.0
10.	Michael Young	500.0
11.	Andruw Jones	495.0
12.	Jason Bay	492.0
13.	Morgan Ensberg	491.0
14.	Mark Teixeira	480.0
15.	Adam Dunn	474.0
(T)	Bobby Abreu	474.0
(T)	Gary Sheffield	474.0
PITCHERS
1.	Chris Carpenter	526.0
2.	Roger Clemens	503.0
3.	Pedro Martinez	460.0
4.	Chad Cordero	449.0
5.	Roy Oswalt	421.0
6.	Mariano Rivera	411.0
7.	John Smoltz	405.0
8.	Dontrelle Willis	393.0
9.	Jake Peavy	391.0
(T)	Johan Santana	391.0
11.	Billy Wagner	390.0
12.	Roy Halladay	383.0
13.	Mark Buehrle	374.0
14.	Joe Nathan	369.0
15.	Bartolo Colon	368.0

Skipper