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2006 Season |
Edition No. 19 |
July 12, 2006 |
Now on to the baseball proceedings of the evening . . . .
My first reaction is what a beautiful ballpark and view over the outfield walls. The PNC trip in 2002 was my first HSL year. I’m only sorry I let the stories of Tricko’s forehead and its impromptu meeting with a curb and Stretch threatening to do a Greg Louganis into a muddy river scare me off from the HSL trip.
Tejada and Berkman have lead off the proceedings with 3 home runs each. I say stop performance-enhancement drug testing in the weeks leading up to the Derby. Yawn… Miguel Cabrera just launched 9; it’s hard to believe he’s only 23. He still has his career ahead of him.
They keep mentioning a Century 21 Gold Ball. In most medical journals that’s a bad thing.
I just can’t get excited about this or any other Home Run Derby. I bet it’s cool for the fans in attendance, there seems to be a lot of electricity in the air. And the NBA supporting demographic of MLB fans probably enjoys it. Though those folks may be looking for a bit more thump in their bass and some strobe lights.
The current leader for the Bobby Abreu Award (Player Most Likely To Screw Up His 2nd Half Swing By Participating in the Home Run Derby) is David Wright. Traditionally a line drive hitter he’s swinging for the stars. Abreu’s 2005 split:
1st Half – 63R, 18 HR, 58 RBI, .307 2nd Half – 41R, 6 HR, 44 RBI, .260
Everything that makes Chris Berman great for football makes him terrible on baseball. Chris, it’s a different game, vary your schtick.
It’s 8:45 and the 2nd round is just starting. This thing is going to last longer than the actual game. D Wright, D Ortiz, M Cabrera, and R Howard have advanced.
One of the outfield shaggers just robbed David Wright of a possible HR and is being booed by the fans. Tough crowd. What a great time that would be, cruising the outfield grass, elbowing 8-year-olds in the chops to fetch a David Ortiz flyball, pulling a Jim Edmonds and lollygagging to a ball only to lay out for a web-gem.
I wonder what (or who) Bonnie Bernstein is going to do after the Derby. Did you know she was a 4-time Academic All-American (gymnastics) at U of Maryland? Focus Screech, just 2 more hours to go.
NL East 20-somethings David Wright and Ryan Howard advance to the final round. At this point I’m sending young Michael and his learner’s permit to the store for Jagermeister and Red Bull.
9:27 – Final round and I’m reaching Ted-like proportions in this stream of consciousness.
Ryan Howard just shared with us that this is like taking BP back at Southwest Missouri State. Except the millions he’s being paid, 70,000 people in the stands, a scrum in the Alleghany River for long flies, a world-wide TV audience of millions, and the Escalade parked in the lot. Other than that it’s just like it.
Mr. Wright just struggled to get 4 over the fence. Say hello to Mr. Abreu.
Howard wins with 5 HRs on 5 outs. Michael is back from the store and I’m on to the Taco Bell All-Star Legends and Celebrity Softball Game. Good night, don’t forget to tip your waitress, and drive safely.
Good luck in the 2nd half, boys!
Screech
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