CARDINAL SIN

This morning at 2:00 a.m. I was at my church Adoration Hour.  For those of you who aren’t familiar with this Catholic tradition, it is literally a Come-to-Jesus meeting once a week.  Well, I’m not a very good Catholic, because I’m sitting there, sweating bullets, blanketed with big-time guilt.  And it’s all because of HSL baseball and Jim Buser.  Let me explain.

I think all of you can relate to the pure joy we experience when we hit the computer or sports page and see one of our players throw a complete game shutout or go 4-for-4 with two knocks.  Man, I’d easily step over a hundred dollar bill for a hundred-point night.  But my problem is that I found something far more pleasurable, far more enjoyable.  In fact, it’s what I crave.  The demise of Jim Ed Buser and the Redbirds. 

Now, this isn’t something that happened overnight.  It took Jim years of being himself to cause this, but it’s left me in a swirling pot of emotion and sin.  Every big sombrero the Redbirds rack up, I slowly inch closer to the possibility of eternity in Hell.  Just last week I was enjoying myself up at my beautiful little mountain retreat, the Eagle’s Nest.  Life was beautiful.  As I watched the partial box scores come across my handheld lifeline, Brett Myers turned a wonderful mountain day into pure pain.  He’d given up 3 earned runs in the top of the 1st.  Well, fear not, my greatest pleasure in life was not far behind.  It ends up Jimmy had the opposing pitcher, Mark Hendrickson.  He proceeded to give up 10 earned runs in 3-2/3 innings, and a minus 20 tattoo for the Redbirds.  Myers shut down the Marlins the rest of the way with 11 Ks and 33 points.  Sure, Myers’ 33 felt good, but Jimmy and the Redbirds, who were already 28 innings over the projected limit, had four starters going that day.  Well, three went negative, and he only got 5 points out of 23 precious used up innings.  Oh, boy, did that feel good.  All of a sudden, my Rocky Mountain High went to an All-Time High.  Sitting on the deck of my Heaven-on-Earth cabin did not compare to the sheer orgasmic joy of Jim being crushed. 

There you have it.  I’m cursed with Cardinal Sin.  But come on now.  Am I alone in this quandary?  I know he’s the lovable Little Guy in our league, but isn’t there any other Cardinal sinners out there?  I sure don't want to be the only HSL member sent down to Hell, and then stuck talking baseball with only Ted. 

God bless. 

B.T.