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OH, PERFECT!

Riding on the arm of his unlikely hero, Dallas Braden, he of the unlikely perfect game, Possum’s Wahoos have surged to the lead in the Hot Stove League after 5 weeks of play.  Showing the red-hot Highlanders what it means to be white-hot, the Wahoos muscled their way to a 633-point week and overtook the Highlanders as if they were doing a Michael Jackson moonwalk. 

Here are the standings through 5 weeks of play:

Here are the point totals for the 5th week of play:

As horrible as my Senatros have played these past couple of weeks, it is unfathomable to me that my team is not in last place.  I suppose that underscores just how bad Big Guy’s Heat-Seeking Missiles have been performing during the same period of time. 

I swear to the Baseball Gods that a curse has been placed upon my head and on my entire Senators team this season.  There isn’t a move that I make that doesn’t cost me, and my shell game between Ivan Rodriguez and Matt Wieters has been epic.  I supposedly picked two of the best closers in the game with Brian Fuentes and Trevor Hoffman, but I think that they have a total of two saves between them, and of course when Hoffman isn’t saving games, he’s doing his best impression of a suicide bomber and splashing his guts all over the pitching mound. 

One other thing I’ve noticed about my pitchers this year.  If I make the mistake of listening to a game on the radio featuring one of my pitchers, watching one of my pitchers pitch on TV in a televised game, or “watch” a game of one of my pitchers on the internet, it is a sure thing, a lock, a lead pipe cinch, that once my scrutinizing eyes are upon him, he will begin coming apart at the seams and giving up earned run after earned run.  It’s more than uncanny.  It’s more like predestined, as if the Baseball Gods are zeroing in on me and my pitching staff, just waiting for me to check in with them to see how they are doing before unleashing a torrent of misfortune.  I could cite plenty of examples, but I only wish I had been keeping track of all of the times that I jumped in the car, turned on my radio, and smiled as I heard that Joel Pineiro was throwing a shutout in the 5th inning, his team with a 3-0 lead – only to hear his instant reversal of fortune, giving up a single, a double, an earned run here, an error there, until he has lost the shutout, lost the game, and lost all of the points that I had in the bank. 

Maybe somebody somewhere is telling me that I just don’t have time to listen to or watch baseball games, and that I should be devoting my attention elsewhere, such as to one of my client’s cases, or to feeding the kids, cutting the grass, or some other far-less-important chore.  But one thing’s for sure, there is in fact a Baseball God, and I am clearly out of favor with him at present.  Clearly. 

TOP TEN HITTERS

TOP TEN PITCHERS

A MILESTONE DAY

Monday, May 10, was a noteworthy day for me for a number of reasons.  First, and foremost, Monday, May 10, was the 84th anniversary of my father Jack Ernst’s birth in the rural hamlet of Holton, Kansas.  May 10 also is the date on which Scott and Kathi were married thirty years ago, and the birth date of their eldest son, Jesse.  So, lots to be thankful for on May 10. 

I was also just reminded on Monday that May 10 was my first day of work at the law firm, then known as Gaines, Otis, Haggart, Mullen and Carta, some 27 years ago.  It’s hard to believe that that many years have gone by, and harder still to think that I will probably be here for another 27 years in order to pay off all of my kids’ college tuition. 

Another May 10 milestone is that I received a verdict on Monday in my 80th jury trial, a number that I most assuredly never thought that I would reach as a young litigator.  I remember when I went to a trial school at KU back in 1985, when people were asked to raise their hands if they had tried a jury trial, I proudly thrust my right arm up to signify my inclusion in this select group.  Nobody needed to know that I had only tried one jury trial at that point in time, involving approximately $3,000 at risk.  I also remember when the instructor asked if anyone had tried more than 10 jury trials, several hands went up, and I was in awe of these seasoned trial lawyers.  I wasn’t sure that I would ever make it to double digits.

Probably about a decade ago, BT asked me how long I thought I would continue on as a trial lawyer.  I remember telling him that I wanted to try 50 jury trials, and to have at least a couple of them involve some very significant issues.  Not in my wildest imagination did I think that I would ever try as many as 80 cases. 

Now, for those of you who are not trial lawyers, 80 jury trials in 27 years probably doesn’t seem like all that big of a deal, roughly three jury trials a year.  And I suppose it’s not.  But for those who try jury trial cases, and endure the stress and wear and tear that we all experience the week before trial, 50 jury trials is a pretty big number, and so I feel pretty good about being well past that number.  My new target is the century mark, after which I plan to hang it up and move to Arizona to sell beer at spring training baseball games. 

The best part about my most recent jury trial is that Joe and Will got to come down and see my closing argument.  They are at the age now when they need to start thinking about their career choices, and seeing the Old Man in action will hopefully spur them on to consider trial law as a potential future career choice of their own.  At ages 16 and 14, they should have memories of my closing argument for many years to come.  Hopefully, with the passage of time and the fading of memory, they will remember my closing argument in a fashion that would make Clarence Darrow proud.  Right.  Anyway, I was glad to have them there to see the Old Man in action. 

STEINWAY UPDATE

Will the Closer took one on the chin last week when he came in to close out a game with a generous five-run lead, albeit with the bases loaded and nobody out.  An error here, a greasy hit there, followed by a couple of legitimate hits, and next thing you know, Will had given up the lead to our opponents and took the loss.  After the game, I told him that when a player pitches on the game’s biggest stage, there are bound to be some low moments to go with the high moments.  He seemed to understand and shrugged off the beating. 

Fortunately, our pitching coach gave him a chance to get right back up on the horse in our next game, putting him in the bottom of the final frame with a 1 run lead, runners on 2nd and 3rd, no outs, and the other team’s best hitter up at the plate.  Good old Steinway mowed down the first hitter with a strikeout, got the second batter to pop up to the catcher, and then rung up the third batter for the final out of the game, stranding both runners and preserving the win.  A great follow-up to the earlier blown save.  A good reminder that a closer has to have a short memory.

EPILOGUE

That will close out this issue of FTB.  Enjoy this issue and have a great weekend. 

                                                                              Skipper