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2012 Season

Edition No. 6

April 10, 2012

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SKIP’S PICKS AND PANS

 

Brethren:

 

With a bit of time on my hands during my Opening Day trip with the boys to Miami this past week, I had a chance to scratch out a short version of my annual Skipper’s Picks and Pans.  Here they are, from the 2011 order of finish, worst to first:

 

13.  Senators

Zobrist in the 2nd and Hosmer in the 4th were too early, but must-haves on my roster.  Weaver in the 3rd, Alex Gordon in the 5th, Ian Kennedy in the 6th, stellar grabs that make the rest of you look like simpletons. 

 

          Assessment:

Great pitching staff, subpar infield, serviceable OF. 

 

          POF:

The Senators, like the Jeffersons, are moving on up.  6th place.

 

 

 

12.  Chirpers

What up with Stanton in the 2nd?  He has warning track power at new Marlins Park.  And Napoli in the 4th?  Since when did mediocre backstops become a hot commodity?  I know, I know.  Why I gotta hate?  Okay, a shout out to Jim Ed for his nifty picks of James Shields in the 5th, John Lester in the 6th, and Jason Matte in the 12th.  And if Johan is recovered from his shoulder surgery, as his first outing might suggest, nabbing him in the 19th round was pure larceny. 

 

            Assessment:

Solid starting pitching, a bang-up relief corps, and decent IF. 

 

            POF:

The HOL Outdoorsman doesn’t bag a trophy mount, but his team makes a modest move in ’12.  9th place.

 

 

 

11.  Bears

Buster Posey in the 3rd round?  Come on, Denny, were you sniffing model airplane cement in the car with Bob on the ride up again?  Just one more example of a manager having too big of a man crush on a player.  Fortunately, SloPay got his wheels back on the rails in time to snag A-Rod in the 4th round, a savvy move if he can stay healthy, and then Assdribble in the 5th was a similarly shrewd move.  Beyond that, just a lot of flotsam and jetsam floating Denny’s way. 

 

            Assessment:

Solid SP, sordid RP, so-so IF, stenchy OF. 

 

            POF:

Back into Sewer Nation for you, SloPay.  Dead Ass Last

 

 

 

10.  Bombers

I like late picks Dempster (15), A.J. Burnett (28) and Harang (30).  Don’t like much else about this team.  The Prince in Round One was a regal enough pick, but Granderson in Two was anti-Grand and Uggla in Three just plain Uggly.  Sorry, Mouse, by the Eleventh round, you were clearly Dunn. 

 

          Assessment:

Okay IF, decent SP, indecent RP. 

 

          POF:

Praise Allah for SloPay, your buffer from the bottom.  12th place

 

 

 

9.  Tigers

Ellsbury in the 1st—too early.  Cliff Lee in Round 2—premature.  Konerko in the 4th—jumped the gun.  Youkilis in the 5th—before his time.  Is there a recurring theme here, Ricardo?  Yes, you picked decent players, just too early, and could have had nice upgrades at every turn of the screw. 

 

            Assessment:

Commendable starting pitching staff, but warts and psoriasis all over the rest of the Tiger body. 

 

            POF:

In Big Guy’s case, Two Ones are not better than one.  11th place

 

 

 

8.  Skipjacks

Cano-Teixeira a nice one-two Yankee punch.  Haren-Strasburg in 4-5, another twin killing.  Bell-Jeter 11-12, fahgeddaboutit.  Other than coughing up a furball with Lawrie in the 3rd, JT was on his—or rather, Jugdish’s—game on Draft Day.

 

            Assessment:

Splendid relief corps, solid SP, superior IF. 

 

            POF:

Painful as it is for me to rain kudos down on Big Johnny, he has picked a swell team in ’12.  3rd place. 

 

 

 

7.  Monarchs

Bautista may bust as his No. 1, just my hunch.  Kinsler in 2 and Bruce in 4, solid picks.  Billy Butler in the 6th?  Get ready for some pain, take it from the Skipper.  Beachy may be Peachy in the 8th, but Maybin will be ready for the Dustbin in cavernous Petco. 

 

            Assessment:

SP should be decent, RP even better.  After that?  Time will tell, but this looks like a lower division squad to me. 

 

            POF:

Sorry, Screech, next year don’t take your brother-in-law Committee Appointment so seriously—you took your eye off the ball.  8th place

 

 

 

6.  Blues

So many praiseworthy picks here (Lincecum, 3rd; Price, 4th; Papelbon, 6th; Upton, 7th; Pineda, 8th; Crawford, 10th; Kuroda, 14th; Hughes, 27th), I don’t see how McBlunder doesn’t compete for his third HSL crown.  Not a single turd in the bunch. 

 

            Assessment:

Great starting pitching, good RP, snappy IF, estimable OF. 

 

            POF:

Stretch’s status as a Suave, Single, Statesman-Sophisticate agrees with him.  1st place

 

 

 

5.  Wahoos

Hanley the Tumorous and Hamilton the Sickly were dicey picks in the 2nd and 3rd, and Honey Bear (Sandoval) in the 4th was just way too early, but Wainright in the 7th was Way Right, so at least Possum has that going for him.  Oh, and the rest of us allowing Lohse to go by until Possum stumbled onto him in the 25th was Way Bad. 

 

            Assessment:

Solid at catcher.  Swiss cheese-like pretty much everywhere else. 

 

            POF:

Get ready for a season of hissing, snarling and claw-swiping behavior.  I calls ’em as I sees ’em, and I sees the Wahoos in 10th place

 

 

 

4.  Tribe

Love, love, love Kemp-Longoria 1-2.  Whole lotta production going on there.  Hate, hate, hate Hamels in the 3rd, Bumgarner in the 5th, and the next 8 picks by UBob after that one. 

 

            Assessment:

After the 2nd round, Underbelly was obviously tuned into a different station than the rest of us.  The result:  A mediocre team of Millard Fillmore proportion. 

 

            POF:

Not this year, Robert.  7th place

 

 

 

3.  Cubs

A catcher (Carlos Santana) in the 3rd round?  A little hypoglycemic that round, Charles?  But other than this hiccup, a very, very solid draft from the Snickler.  Wright in the 4th was Just Right, Ethier in the 9th was Even Ethier, Markakis in the 10th, re-Markable, and Stauffer in the 17th round, another bargain.  And nobody cherishes bargains like the Red (well, gray now) Topped Orator erstwhile of the Rapids of Cedar. 

 

            Assessment:

Solid everywhere.  Another quintessential Cubs team. 

 

            POF:

Shamu’s charges finish just short of The Cup.  Runner up.

 

 

 

2.  Bums

A nice start with Pujols and Braun, hit a speed bump in the 3rd with Pence.  Got his mind right for the 4th with Young, panicked in the 6th with Latos, never recovered. 

 

            Assessment:

Superlative infield, tops in the league.  Elsewhere, nothing to write home about. 

 

            POF:

Never count the always close-to-the-vest Magpie out, but it looks to me like a drop to about 5th place this year. 

 

 

 

1.  Chiefs

Our defending champion got out of the gates swiftly and smoothly with Miguel in the 1st and Cargo in the 2nd, but spit the bit in the 3rd with new Marlin Jose Reyes, an oft-injured chronic complainer now playing in an anemic lineup in a pitchers’ park.  Aside from that, a great 3rd round pick. 

 

B.T. recovered a bit in the 4th with the solid selection of Beltre, a professional hitter in a hitters’ lineup in a hitters’ park, but then baffled his fellow owners by writing down the name Nelson Cruz in the 5th.  The 5th?  Are you sure, good friend?  Did you take your medication today?  Perhaps a glass of water and a cold compress?

 

Heavy is the head that wears the crown, and heavy was B.T.’s neck after he panic-picked Cruz in his last selection before the dreaded swinging of the gate—a decision from which he would not recover. 

 

            Assessment:

Mr. Sulu, your report?  Heavy damage to all sectors, Captain, and Klingons about to board at every entry port.  Prognosis:  Extremely grim. 

 

            POF:

Big Guy, worry not, your distinction of being our HSL last back-to-back titlist in those halcyon, dead-ball days of ’88-’89 is not in jeopardy at this time.  4th place

 

 

RECAP

 

POF

2012

2011

Finish

POF

2011

1.

Blues

6

13

2.

Cubs

3

3

3.

Skipjacks

8

12

4.

Chiefs

1

6

5.

Bums

2

9

6.

Senators

13

1

7.

Tribe

4

10

8.

Monarchs

7

2

9.

Redbirds

12

11

10.

Wahoos

5

8

11.

Tigers

9

7

12.

Bombers

10

4

13.

Bears

11

5

 

 

 

STANDINGS AFTER WEEK 1 – THRU 04/08/12

 

Our first week of HSL play was really only about a half of a week’s games, from Thursday through Sunday, and one game (Cardinals at Marlins) on Wednesday.  But since we traditionally report our standings from Monday to Sunday, let’s go ahead with the standings for the first week through Sunday night.

 

1.

   

Wahoos

339.20

2.

 

Senators

309.60

3.

 

Cubs

307.10

4.

 

Monarchs

306.50

5.

 

Da Bums

284.20

6.

 

Chiefs

237.70

7.

 

Tribe

210.80

7.

 

Tigers

210.80

9.

 

Bronx Bombers          

206.00

10.

 

Redbirds

200.90

11.

 

Blues

155.80

12.

 

Bears

149.10

13.

 

Skipjacks

144.40

 

Good golly, it’s refreshing—and unusual—for my team not to be in last place, or close to last, in the initial standings.  The Senators have gotten out of the gate so slowly these past few years, the prospects for catching up and actually being in a pennant race have seemed insurmountable. 

 

Sad and pathetic though it may seem to others, the mood of a fantasy league baseball competitor really is controlled by how his team is doing at a given time.  When our hitters are hitting and our pitchers are pitching well, we really do find ourselves walking a little taller and puffing our chests out a little bit more than when the opposite is true.  The air smells fresher, the birds chirp louder and lovelier, and the girls are prettier when all is right with our Hot Stove League teams. 

 

MARLIN PARK

 

Had a great trip to Miami with the boys, and loved brand-new Marlin Park.  The rest of you who will see it on the Trip in a few weeks will too, so I won’t spoil it by going into any detail about it at this time. 

 

NEXT WEEK

 

This year’s first guest edition, The Bellyflop, from good friend Underbelly.  Can’t wait to hear what the Oracle has to say about the 2012 Draft and our young season. 

 

Later.

 

 

                                                                   Skipper