2013 Season

Edition No. 2

January  10, 2013








Our 2013 Winter Meeting on Saturday night was an evening to remember, the inaugural event of our 29th year of competition in the Hot Stove League.  Amazing, isn’t it?  How did we all get so lucky to find this Band of Brothers with our common love of America’s pastime, or maybe more accurately, how did this Band of Brothers find all of us?


In any case, eleven of us (all but Underbelly and SloPay) gathered at the Clink on Saturday night for a fine meal, frothy libations, UNO hockey and general Merrymaking as we closed out the 2012 season with a tribute to Magpie and witnessed the passing of the Cup from B.T.  Curby was as humble and magnanimous a winner as one could be in this highly competitive league, not only picking up the dinner tab and providing UNO hockey tickets, but also giving out some handsome championship apparel in honor of his 2012 Bums victory.  Not only did we receive a first-class gray tee-shirt with a snappy Bums logo, but we also were gifted with a black pullover with the same championship logo, as fine an HSL garment as we have seen since the cashmere Senators jackets that B.T. foisted upon me after my last league crown –– the exorbitant cost of which may well have been contributory to my current fiscal cliff-dwelling.  Not blaming, just saying. 



Thanks, Mitch, for your overwhelming generosity and outstanding attitude and approach as a four-time HSL champion. 




Thanks also to B.T. for cranking up the Art F/X art department to generate the fine Bums championship apparel, as well as our bonus Wahoo (“Who won? … ’Hoos Won!!”) tee-shirt with the crisp likeness of Craig “The Walrus” Stadler blasting a shot out of a tough lie.  Yet another specialty tee-shirt to add to the “Crimson Chirper,” “The Other Trip,” and “T’s Tickets” et al. HSL collection.  Nicely done.




For the benefit of those not in attendance, I will repeat here our group congratulations to McJester for his holiday-season engagement to the lovely Deb.  Big Johnny’s relevant question, “What’s the matter, Jon, are you tired of being happy?” aside, we wish both of you much happiness.  Reminder:  When you are crafting the prenuptial, remember to include ironclad language about permission in perpetuity to attend the Hot Stove League Winter Meeting, Draft and Trip. 

Underbelly and SloPay were sorely missed at our Saturday festivities, but once Underbelly’s reason for his absence was explained (family Christmas gathering, just 11 short days after Christmas), the members in attendance all agreed that he needed to be cut some slack over missing, and that it couldn’t possibly have worked for him to plan around this blessed family event.  Some of the group did express concern that the annual President’s Weekend gathering of the Hurlbut clan could interfere with our March 23 Draft Day in Scottsdale, but B.T. assured everyone that this would not be a problem. 


Calls to the Bontrager house for a valid excuse for missing were unreturned, landing Denny on Double Secret Probation for the 19th consecutive season.




Another highlight of the gala evening was when our de facto Director of Health, B.T., administered to willing league members the Brazilian Sit-Down, Stand-Up Life Expectancy Test.  While most participating league members fared relatively well, it appears that Possum is facing some serious upcoming health issues, and will likely be confined to a Rascal for the rest of his declining years.  His need for help from two hulking male attendants to get up off of the floor scored him at a minus 3 on the Brazilian SDSULET charts, and even taking into account a substantial margin of error, it appears that 2012 may be his Swan Song. 


Itchie blamed his similarly grim results on the eleven Captain and Cokes that he had consumed at that stage of the proceedings. 


All in all, a delightful night for the first official 2013 HSL season event. 




A very short Mock Draft was held at our Winter Meeting.  The results: 




Miguel Cabrera



Mike Trout



Brian Braun



Albert Pujols


After that, we could not find Jim Ed to obtain his fifth overall pick in the first round, and by the time we did, he was so into the cups that he could not think of any other current major league players.  Hope this has been helpful for you. 




It was decided that we will start the Draft at 10:00 a.m. Scottsdale time on Saturday, March 23, 2013, at the Clubhouse at B.T.’s winter haven in Scottsdale.  This will allow a smidge of recovery time after the Friday evening bar crawl that B.T. has planned for us, and yet hopefully have us done in time to attend a Saturday evening spring training game at the Rockies’ spring training complex.  Start cracking the books, boys, it will be here before you know it!




As we close out our 502nd issue of FTB, I share with you now a few pictures from our Winter Meeting.  See you all soon. 







B.T. passes the hardware to our 2012 Winner.




Stretch stares glassy-eyed as the bartender announces, “Last Call”;

Possum gasps as he learns the results of the Brazilian life expectancy test;

Shamu feigns tears over Screech’s sob story about his 4th-place finish in the standings. 





Unaware that he is being mocked by Screech, Big Guy waxes philosophic

about some arcane scoring change, while Mouse desperately plans his

exit strategy and Jim Ed looks for someone to refill his beer glass. 





B.T. shows off the crisp Art F/X reproduction of

Fred Flintstone swinging for the fences. 







Hot Stove League members enjoy the hockey match from their

Seats in the Hair Club for Men section at the C-Link.

















Our 502nd edition