Round:

1

Player:

Eddie Encarnacion

Points for Season:

513

Position:

First Base

Rank at Position:

11

Rank Overall Among Hitters:

30

Comments:

Our boy Screech got off to a slow start by drafting Eddie in the 1st round as the 9th overall pick.  Maybe he just likes his name because it is the same as his boyhood idol, Eddie Munster, or maybe it’s because his last name sounds like a pretty flower.  What else would you expect from a guy whose team is named for a member of the butterfly family?

Round:

2

Player:

David Wright

Points for Season:

354.6

Position:

Third Base

Rank at Position:

21

Rank Overall Among Hitters:

108

Comments:

No longer has the “right stuff.”  A gruesome pick.  Drove the Monarchs’ manager “batty.” 

Round:

3

Player:

Jose Bautista

Points for Season:

656

Position:

Right Field

Rank at Position:

1

Rank Overall Among Hitters:

2

Comments:

“Boo-Tista,” a paranormally good pick.  How did he last so deep into the third round?

Round:

4

Player:

Sterling Marte

Points for Season:

435

Position:

Left Field

Rank at Position:

10

Rank Overall Among Hitters:

73

Comments:

Not the most “sterling” of picks, but not a total spook, either.

Round:

5

Player:

Cliff Lee

Points for Season:

201

Position:

Starting Pitcher

Rank Overall Among Pitchers:

Not in top 200

Comments:

If Cliff Lee was supposed to be the ace of this staff, all you can say is, “Holy (Black) Cats!”  Missed on that one, brutha!

Round:

6

Player:

Zach Greinke

Points for Season:

690

Position:

Starting Pitcher

Rank Overall Among Pitchers:

11

Comments:

A “monster” of a pick.  Freakishly fruitful. 

Round:

7

Player:

Austin Jackson

Points for Season:

350

Position:

Center Field

Rank at Position:

27

Rank Overall Among Hitters:

113

Comments:

A 7th rounder who ranks 27th at his position?  Positively “frightening.”

Round:

8

Player:

Jose Altuve

Points for Season:

605

Position:

Second Base

Rank at Position:

1

Rank Overall Among Hitters:

9

Comments:

A spine-tingling good pick.  No doubt Screech had a hunch that Altuve would rap out a Major-League-leading 225 hits.  Eerie.

Round:

9

Player:

Matt Moore

Points for Season:

11

Position:

Starting Pitcher

Rank Overall Among Pitchers:

Off the grid

Comments:

Was 0 and 2 before the Grim Reaper came to drag his sorry cadaver to the DL for the season. 

Round:

10

Player:

Michael Brantley

Points for Season:

627

Position:

Left Field

Rank at Position:

2

Rank Overall Among Hitters:

7

Comments:

Screech must have had his Ouija board out and invoked his best incantations for this one.  Too good for his ’hood.