2016 Season Edition No. 25 August 24, 2016
STANDINGS AS OF 8/24/16
These are the standings as of today Wednesday the 24th, as for who is hot and who is not, you will have to do your own homework on that.
I initially decided I was going to pass on my turn this year until I saw how dedicated everyone else was to their obligation. It felt like watching your neighbor raking his leaves, now I have to get up off the couch and get out there. Plus it just didn’t seem right to blow the leaves into Chuck’s lawn since he’s next in line, so it’s the least I can do. Well, not the least I can do. I’ve been doing a fine job of that already.
This has been a three-team race since the git-go, and it looks like it could very well be a photo finish to see who will trump Scott’s celebration party of last year. That bar is set pretty high. There’s no shame in second place, gentlemen. It reminds me of the British Open where some of the best golf I’ve ever seen was on display. The rest of us just have to be content to sit back and watch it play out and enjoy it. So, a nod and tip of the hat to Ted, Chuck and Big Guy for a great season and a job well done.
No celebration would be complete without kids fighting at the little table. Jimmy won’t stop putting his fingers in my mashed potatoes and Dave won’t stop kicking me under the table. My lobbying to have them both put in “time out” has fallen on deaf ears. No one wants to be last. I’ve never worked so hard to be so bad since my mom made me go to that awful place……….school.
Some observations of the changes this year: Love the “Day to Day” blurb. I didn’t think it was possible to muck up the water any more than it already was, but I wake up to an orange screen everyday with everyone’s non-committal “play or not to play” declaration. I think Kris Bryant alone has hit 4 home runs on my bench because he couldn’t decide if he wanted to play that day or not. If we could only do that in real life.
I don’t want to get into anything political, this isn’t the place or forum to do so, but am I the only one that thinks it’s odd to build a wall on the Mexican border when they’re best known for tunneling?
Instead of piloting my team, I’ve been spending all of my free time setting up Dave’s Go Fund Me account. My God man, you’re in bad shape. Meatloaf is in better shape than you and he had to finish his last concert singing on his back. If your neighbor buddy, the dead-pool bookie guy had this insider information on your physical state, what does it say about me? He handicapped you 3 slots to the good and I was actually thinking I was feeling great…..Well, maybe not great, but OK. Hell, now I don’t feel good.
I thought I would let Doc Holliday reply to Johnny’s hilarious take on my physical state and dead-pool odds:
I do have to admit there is something about naming the trophy “The Hurlbut” that is vainly appealing to me. If God gives me enough time to enjoy my swan song, maybe you guys will let me design a new trophy since this one is rapidly getting full of other people’s names on it, or better yet, let me put my name on it for my “Make a Wish” gift.
What a great picture of all the kids bull rushing an outfield full of a thousand pounds of candy. If that doesn’t make you think of a slice of Americana nothing will. You know, I can’t help but think I recognize one of those “kids”. Nah, It couldn’t be…………could it?
Get the Kit Kats. They’re my favorite.
For once in my life I get to be the Turk—Screech, you’re in my seat. I have squatter’s rights on 10th place, I can jump out of an airplane without a parachute at 25,000 ft. and safely hit 10th place year after year. Even though it’s late in the season, it’s not over yet. So quit trying to upgrade your seat.
All these seasons are starting to run together and there are only so many excuses. I love excuses and, if you ask my wife, she would tell you I’ve got a file cabinet full of them. But I seem to have used them all up; I guess I’m just not worth my salt when it comes to rotisserie baseball.
Some people build the rockets. Some people fly the rockets.
Some people sweep up around the rockets.
See you in the winter.