Edition No. 13
May 9, 2017
WAHOOS ON THE WISE;
Week 5 of the Hot Stove League saw PAwesome’s Reversion-to-the-Mean theorem riding tall in the saddle, as the previously woeful Wahoos posted a whopping 585.1 points for the week, more than 60 points better than the similarly sizzling Skipjacks. This burst of energy allowed the Wahoos to climb several rungs up the ladder to 8th place, while the Skipjacks remain in 12th place, but closer to 11th than before. So at least Itchie has that going for him.
On the other hand, the Senators could only muster up a measley 352.4 points for the week, least in the league, and are now in 3rd place, 149.2 points out of the lead and hanging on by their fingernails for a top 3 spot. The league-leading Tribe had the second lowest total for the week with 384 points, but remain in 1st place with 2499.2 points, just 65 points ahead of the Cubs.
Here are the standings from top to bottom:
WEEK 5 STANDINGS
WEEK 5 POINT TOTALS
SAME TIME, LAST YEAR
Through five weeks of play in 2016, the standings and point totals looked like this:
The top hitter at this time last year was Jose Altuve of the Redbirds with 183.9, followed by Nolan Arenado of the Skipjacks at 179.3, followed by Manny Machado of the Bears at 165.1. The top pitcher at this time last year was Chris Sale of the Tigers with 224.0, followed by Clayton Kershaw of the Blues at 221.0 and Jake Arrieta of the Senators at 208.0.
COMEBACK PLAYER OF THE CENTURY:
I’m sure none of you has a story like this one, but the surprise sensation of this season is Ryan Zimmerman, who is currently batting a cool .420 with 13 home runs and 34 RBIs, and is the Blues’ top player with 200.9 points, more even than Clayton Kershaw. Of course, he was on the Senators’ roster last year, when he positively sucked. I remember drafting him in the 14th hole last season, convinced that I had snapped up a real bargain, and then proceeded to watch him stink all year long, ending the season with a .218 batting average, 15 home runs and 46 RBIs, and a total of 260.4 HSL points.
So of course, I should have drafted Zim this year, because he was virtually guaranteed to have a great year on someone else’s roster.
And by the way, Starlin Castro was also a Senator last year. Same book, different chapter. He is the 17th best HSL hitter while playing for the Bronx Bombers this season. He scored a blasé total of 420 for the Senators last year.
Next year’s Ryan Zimmerman is sure to be this year’s Matt Harvey. Again, I felt pretty smart picking up the Black Knight in the 17th round of the Draft this year, all but certain that he would return to his 2015 form. Instead, he is killing me, positively killing me.
First of all, I had Harv in my minors a couple of weeks ago when he had a 20+ outing, because Mets management decided to sneak him in to pitch a game early and forgot to tell me about it. The following week, I was planning on demoting him to the bench to preserve some innings for later and Mets management again snuck him into the starting lineup for the ailing Noah Syndergaard on short notice, and again failed to notify me. This time I suffered through a moonwalk on the order of the high teens.
The third in a series of weekly insults was this past Sunday, when Harvey was supposed to be in my starting lineup but was suspended by the Mets, as far as I can discern, for being a jerk. So zero pitching points for the Senators’ starting rotation that day.
So I am prepared to take my lumps with Harvey and let him languish on my roster all year long as he underperforms during his initial year in Senatorial purgatory. But next March, keep your hands off my man Harvey because he’s going to be a Senator for his bright, shining comeback year.
(1) A revisit to Coors Field and 1994.
(2) Joyful Johnny takes on the Stir Up The Storm Dude.