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Aug. 31


Comiskey Park II

White Sox



Donn Pall

Dave Otto

Scott Radinsky

Frank Thomas

Albert Belle

Jose Gonzalez

Sammy Sosa

Carlton Fisk

Charlie Hough

Robin Ventura

Tim Raines

Highlights:  After Sox starter Charlie “Mr. Haney” Hough surrendered five runs in the first two innings to put the ChiSox in a 5-to-1 hole, the hometown heroes came roaring back to score ten runs on home runs by Frank Thomas, three RBIs by Robin Ventura, and three RBIs by Scott Fletcher.  Reliever Donn Pall pitched five strong innings of relief for the Palehose, surrendering no runs and giving up two hits to take the win for the hometown team. 



Sept. 1


Comiskey Park II

White Sox



Wilson Alvarez

Greg Swindell


Carlos Martinez

Carlton Fisk

Frank Thomas

Carlton Fisk

Sammy Sosa

Mark Whiten

Jesse Orosco

Ozzie Guillen

Highlights:  The White Sox took control of this game early with three runs in the first on Fisk’s homer with two men on, and three runs in the second off Big Hurt’s home run, also with two men on, both long balls coming off Underbelly’s personal hero, Greg Swindell.  The six runs were much more than were needed by Wilson Alvarez, who twirled a four-hit, one-run beauty to notch his second win of the season, against two losses.  You may also recall that this was the game during which SloPay nearly had Sister Mary Theckla talked into leaving the convent to join him as the co-owner of the Irates, way back when they were known as the Pirates.




                                                            "I love my life."         --Spiderbelly.


                                                            "Life stinks. I am master of my ship no more."   --Sandjigger.





Ah, life!  This seemed to be the underlying theme of the 1991 Hot Stove League Annual Baseball Trip.  Trip participants now know two things for sure:  (1) Spiderbelly (a/k/a Underbelly) absolutely, positively, irrefutably, undeniably loves his life, primarily when his brain and neuro system are saturated with alcohol; and (2) Skipjack (a/k/a Sandjigger) will never make another League trip, now that Ann is taking over his entire life (just ask Spiderbelly). 


In a nutshell, the baseball trip was grrrrreat!  For you lily-livered yes-men who did not make it on the trip, tough luck.  The six trip attendees voted unanimously to deduct 250 points from the year-end totals of each team whose manager did not participate in the League outing.  Next year the penalty will be 500 points, so start building up your marital capital now for next year. 


This year's stouthearted trip participants saw two terrific ballgames at beautiful new Comiskey Park, highlighted by two home runs by Frank Thomas and a single dinger by Pudge Fisk.  The beer was icy cold, the beer cups bottomless.  The Bratworsts were hot and spicy, the peanuts salty.  The blue collar crowd from south Chicago was, to say the least, enthusiastic.  What a trip!  Among the trip highlights: 


-A scenic boat ride through downtown Chicago's sewage canals.


-Watching Pipsqueak miraculously recover from a near coma in the second inning, to doggedly attempt to rescue a troubled young woman from a life in the convent.


-The running of the Emus at Pamplona.


-U-Belly's chiding "Master-of-the-Ship" diatribe to Skipjack.


-The flexibility of our rental car (at $5 a mile).


-U-Belly's solo mating dance to the sultry sounds of the reggae band.


-Pipsqueak's call for the immediate ouster of the Possum from the Hot Stove League (which received an immediate, unanimous affirmation). 


-McBlunder's face turning the color of the sidewalk when he realized he had missed his flight home.


-U-Belly's shameless solicitation of legal business for Skipper during late-night train ride. 


-The intense chagrin felt by each of us when we realized that we had to spend another night in Chicago, talking baseball, playing cards and drinking beer. 


-Watching the look of stark terror on Underbelly's face as we moved from one group of seats to another in the Comiskey outfield, as he received one death tap on the shoulder after another. 


-The look of ecstacy on the face of Shamu-Gone-Bad as the waiter loaded up my extra pork chops and Skipjack's extra chicken wings in his doggie bag. 


-My establishment of a personal record of curing my hiccoughs nine times in the same evening. 


-The silent assassin's boozy recount of Magpie's fraudulent misrepresentations concerning Doc Gooden. 


-Just being part of U-Belly's love affair with life. 


Next year, Detroit/Toronto!  Don't miss it!